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Big Blow Out

luwh033's picture

Goodness seems like such a rollercoaster. Things are good one second then all hell breaks lose. This morning everything was good similar to other mornings except my boyfriend didn't have work today so he was home. I did my usual hop in the shower wanted to do what I always do and lay in bed for a bit and watch something and chill in peace and then I would get up and start my day. Instead I hop in the shower he's laying in bed. The bathroom door is open as I like to walk around naked in my room while I look for clothes and moisturize etc, I had a towel kind of barely on and was moisturizing then SD10 bursts into the room and goes on our bed to snuggle and talk to her dad which I get and love that they are close but in my head I'm like ok if it was me and I saw that the person was naked and trying to get dressed I would say I'll come back once you're done and exit but I thought well her dad always tells her to leave the room when he is trying to get dressed maybe he will say something nope. He did not, but I didn't want to seem like a bitch or cause issues so I didn't say anything I just continued getting dressed. She then asks to play the xbox which is in our room to which her dad says yes so she gets the stuff and sits on our bed to get comfortable meanwhile I am still in a towel trying to get dressed just fyi this is my room. I finally spoke up and nicely asked "babe can you move the xbox into the big room" to which he says no, I said babe can you move it into the big room I want to chill and watch something he says no you go in the big room she's gonna play in here. I said no this is my room there are three tvs in the house she has one in her house own room and in the living room she can play on I want to lay down in my bed and watch tv in my room that I pay for. She goes to her room upset. He starts yelling at me about how I am selfish and just want attention and need to back off and I am jealous of his daughter and anytime she wants to do something I have a problem. I tell him that's not true that he just told her the same thing yesterday when he wanted to chill in his room and he said whatever that he ended up letting her play for ten minutes. I said ok I'm not saying she has to leave the room or can't play later Im just saying right now I want to chill in my bed and relax and watch something. He brings up the previous night how I got upset and asked him for support because I asked him to tell her she needs to help us with dishes. After I cooked dinner and served them both I asked if they could do me one favor to help me unload the clean dishes from the dishwasher which we pay her an allowance to do but it never gets done I always do it myself and put the dirty ones in he says yes then she grabs a popsicle and says knock on my door when you guys are ready to watch something. Which I thought was so disrespectful he says ok and I looked at him and said bro what the heck I need your support we pay her to do her laundry, keep her room clean and help load and unload the dishwasher. He says no you tell her I'm not telling her anything tell her yourself. Step up be step mom. She comes out I ask can you help us and she says sorry and starts helping. It's like no matter what I say or how I say it they take it the wrong way and I get scolded for having opinions or comments about anything. Me and my mom just took his daughter on a shopping spree for her room and bathroom two days ago my mom paid everything but I asked her to come and us get the stuff since we had done other areas of the house if we could do the same for my step daughter. It's like nothing I do is good enough. I'm called selfish or insecure or jealous or needy because I ask for things to be a certain way or things to get done. I hate this. Does anyone agree and think that I am being too much? That I am causing problems or acting jealous or needy or complaining too much? I just want to see if it's possible I am missing something and coming across that way or if I'm crazy.


Aniki's picture

YOU stop paying her allowance. DADDY needs to pay that. 

Sounds like it's okay if HE says something to SD, but you're the Evil SM for requesting the same thing. Horsepuckey.

Frankly, I don't think a gaming system used by multiple members of the house should be in a bedroom.

Merry's picture

Unloading the dishwasher is not "doing you a favor." It's what a responsible member of the household does.

You have an SO problem. Right now the child in your house has more power than you do.

As Murph said, good luck. This generally doesn't go well until the craptastic parent gets his head out of his a$$.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

It's your bed. You should be able to lie down and watch tv in your bed. I have a major problem with men who put their wives out of their own beds so a kid can have it. You should have one place in the house where you can do whatever the hell you want, and if you can't do it in your bed, that's some bullsh!t. 

Gimlet's picture

Your boyfriend is such an a-hole.  Seriously.

He is constantly trying to make you take care of his kid, he doesn't respect your needs, and he's a crap parent.

Skids were not even allowed in my room, let alone their gaming system.  The fact that you were trying to get dressed and he didn't think it was important to give you space speaks volumes.   I would have lost my damn mind.

Stop cooking and serving this douche and his kid.  HE can cook for her and take care of the dishes. 

I know you're pregnant (or have a new baby from your past blogs) but no way would I want to live with this guy. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I don't care if he's a human tripod, this guy is a complete douche. 

And why are you waiting on him and his kid? You need to put on your bi!ch boots and give him h@ll.

Mommajay's picture

I have had the same issues. We have 4 TVs in the house. Why was this kids Xbox in my living room where I spend my free time instead of the downstairs play area? It took years to make that move. Our stepson outa the dishes away and does recycling. No allowance. We think he should contribute to the home he lives in. Dad is showing you how he parents. Sadly, if you don't like it and can't get him with the program, this may be the time to leave especially if you want kids together. Our stepson used to walk in our bedroom in the morning just to tell his dad he was up at age 8. I would be naked under the sheets and I'm sure he saw everything one day. I had to ask dad to get the kid to knock at least and I told my husband get up before your kid!!! Thankfully I've been able to get my husband on board with a lot of normal parenting stuff. 

CLove's picture

Your SO, he is the problem here, not her.

He is a crappy parent and partner!

tog redux's picture

OMG, I would have told SD, "Get out NOW, I'm getting dressed."

Take the bull by the horns here. Your BF is not going to do it for you.

Maganamitre04's picture

I couldn't agree more about your room and your space! Is women only have one place of zen and it's our bedroom! I would have lost my mind! 

This same situation happened and I honestly lost it. SS9 has (had) zero boundaries, he would walk into the bathroom without knocking too. It was horrible. Until one day his son comes into our room and we are laying down and I have just a shirt and underwear on (although I'm under the covers) but no knocking on the door and comes and lays next to him. I was like "uhm did you want to knock before you come in?". DH snapped and said "he doesn't have to knock"!!! That when I raised hell! I said "YES IN THE HELL HE DOES, THIS IS MY ROOM, MY SPACE AND I DONT HAVE PANTS ON AND IM LAYING IN BED IN PEACE. HE HAS THE WHOLE HOUSE PLUS HIS ROOM TK HANGOUT IN AND IF HE WANTED YOU HE BETTER LEARN SOME DAMN MANNERS AND KNOCK AT THE DAMN DOOR AND THAT ALSO GOES FOR THE BATHROOM TOO!!! IF THERE IS A DOOR CLOSED YOU KNOCK YOU DONT WELCOME YOURSELF INTO IT! IM TIRED OF HIM BUATING INTO A ROOM WITHOUT KNOCKING!!!" "THE FUCK, HE DOESNT RUN THIS HOUSE AND PAY BILLS HE COULD AT LEAST TRY SOMETHING SINCE HE DOES NOTHING"!! 

let's just say by me losing my shit and him and SS looked at me like I'm crazy he does not ever come into my room ever again, nor go into rooms without knocking! Lol 

Maganamitre04's picture

I hate to say it but after reading some of your posts, your BF is way too overprotective of his child. He enables her way too much. You being the outsider looking in, seems like you see what he lacks of his parenting! Also, anytime you say "no" he emotional and verbally abuses you! He is not a very like able person at all. I'm surprised you lasted this long without kicking him out or you leaving him. His daughter has more control and authority over you and that is not cool! Very disrespectful to you and does not care about you and your space. 

im sorry. You are better than all of this. 

morrgin's picture

If you dont do it now you never will. It might already be too late. Actually scratch that. It's too late. There is nothing you can do to make him see the light of reality and logic. It will only get worse from here. Get out while you still have some sanity left.