Role reversal - who wears the dress now?
DH has done a complete reversal on his quest to jump through hoops for Toxic Troll BM.
She asked for this week to do some mysterious ...traveling.... to a place that cannot be named...that exists in Southern California ... that has a mouse and a duck .... and princesses...
And in return we"get" this weekend to do "our thing", which is enjoy our first year of wedded bliss.
So what does DH do, as she is currently driving back to our town?
He asks Munchkin SD13, "how would you feel if your mother went to Disneyland without you?"
She told him that she would be very upset.
He said "what if I told you she actually did go to Disneland without you?"
She said "Mom wouldnt do THAT, she didnt go"
He said "ok, well if you find out later that she did in fact go, well there you are."
I was upset with him, because no matter how upset she "will be", she still got a $1,400 ipad for drawing and a new violin for around $300, and if Munchkin tells Toxic Troll what her father was saying about Disneland, then the Toxic Troll will be a total b!tch, send him nasty texts on OUR wedding anniversary and then it will be like our wedding day all over again with nasty texting from Toxic Troll.
Im pissed at DH. Munchkin please please please dont say anything this weekend!!!!!!!
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Comments
I have no clue why your DH
I have no clue why your DH would say that to his kid at all. The information he shared with your Sd is just all around unhelpful. I would be so mad too if I were you. Was he bitter ablut something? This situation is so confusing.
If you read my blogs
You will see - there is a LOT of water under the bridge. She has physically, emotionally and verbally abused him, so upshot is yes he is bitter. She gets spousal support and most recently child support, and isnt working and is getting a large workmans comp settlement. She is a mean, spiteful, angry, filthy, nasty woman and has used us as babysitters while she goes off to places unknown. We have 50/50 but take many more days so she can date.
YUP. I have no clue what was going through his head. Munchkin will ALWAYS NO MATTER WHAT BELIEVE THE BEST ABOUT HER MOTHER. Nothing she does will change that, until hopefully she grows up.
Its weird place we are in. Without knowing the history, I know its confusing.
I am not sure
I am not sure what your situation is ... I have not read any other posts or at least I don't recall...
Anyway you need to block BM if she causes problems. No reason for anyone to talk to her. Go through email or some other source of communication Your DH, that is .... you shouldn't have to deal with her at all.
As far as the rest of the story whether he should have said anything to the child or not, I am thinking that your DH has some deep resentment over what BM did going on the trip for whatever reason, money she spent on his dime or whatever but, this would be a good time to talk about blocking BM. Trust me this will go on long after the child is raised and on her own if you don't have him take care of this now. We teach people how to treat us but what we allow. So don't allow it!!
I wish!
Dh tries to keep things on an even keel, and has been pretty good abou blockingher. Unfortunately 4 years and 10 months to go makes it hard. She is VERY high conflict.
He would have been smarter to
He would have been smarter to keep his mouth shut and let munchkin find out for herself. Now when BM denies it munchkin will think her dad is lying to her.
Aside from all that he needs to let go and not care what she does with her life. Him being bitter about it doesn’t change anything, just wastes valuable head space he could be using for you and his relationship.
Luckily
Munchkin SD13 has other things on her mind now...
I wonder what his end game is
I wonder what his end game is? Does he want munchkin to stay with yall full time? With everything that has happened with the other SD's he should know that it wont happen!
Here's hoping SD let the comment roll off her shoulders and you guys get your weekend of anniversary fun!
We did! Thanks!
His end game has always been to have Munchkin SD with us full time, but he knows that she will fight him on it. I even told Munchkin when she asked that she would fight it. Because the money.
You DH still has something going on with the EX
i know you don’t feel that way. But he always communicate with her. Plays her games. Like quest where I am going, mouse, duck. He playing her game. He has to cut off all communication with her. He is the one who wanted to end his marriage to her. But can’t cut ties,
Cutting the ties
I know he doesnt have anything really going on there - it seems mostly a competition.
But he has always had what I thought of as an enmeshed relationship -knowing too much about her dudes. ANd she feeds into that with her always insisting on giving too much information. She OFFERS this information. Because she wants to stay relevent.