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3 day notice, al ho ha ha ha

CLove's picture

We were at the dinner table, slurping our rich yummy coconut milk soup, and Munchkin was a bit mopey. Had no idea why. Then she started crying. "how are you do you need me we are here if you need us", said in a high trying to be sweet voice. Then the real deal story. Munchkin and DH went to take care of rabbit at other house during Hawaiian vacation, and Munchkin saw a 3 day eviction notice.

Ive given those...a 3 day notice to pay rent or quit. Toxic Troll is on a bi-weekly payment half rent every 2 weeks. $1,400. The notice said, please pay about $700... so FYI, DH pays 300 Spousal support and 347 Child support. And she was using child support for her vacay spending money.

Im furious. Pissed. DH told me "oh theres not much to clean up" (after dinner), and I said "just broken hearts to clean up". Broken people and broken hearts. He doesnt acknowledge that. The nuclear fall out. The broken people, the fragments of lives that need repair.

So, a bit of back story, Toxic Troll, who was caught cheating and DH moved her out, she left her children with Dad, for MONTHS at a time. But then, they get on a schedule, and she is then mother of the year again.

Munchkin - crying again about her mothers problems. Munchkin has a solid home with us, but co dependent and enmeshes as she is, will still cry over her mother's inability to step up to the plate and BE a mother. Toxic Troll is so selfish and self serving, and doesnt care who she hurts. Destructive. But of course. Munchkin still loves her mother...


Cooooookies's picture

Chances are your DH knows exactly what all of it means.  He is just embarrassed and ashamed that he had chosen such an awful excuse for a human being for his life partner and to have a child with.  That's why he barely addresses it or just kind of says nothing at all.  In rare moments, my DH has admitted the same thing a few times.

CLove's picture

Yes, he is REALLY embarrassed. He himself calls her "trailer trash". He tells me "this is what happens if you do drugs..."

He was pretty wild when they got together in their early 20's.

tog redux's picture

Rescue the rabbit and have a frank conversation (DH) with Munchkin about her mother's instability and poor choices. Guess TT wasn't lying about needing rent money. She just doesn't care. How can you have fun on vacation knowing you will be evicted?

Monkeysee's picture

That’s a really good point, that poor rabbit doesn’t deserve to be homeless due to TT’s bad choices. 

Kes's picture

My two SDs used to be just the same, enmeshed to the point of strangulation, with NPD BM.  But since they have got older (now in their 20s) they have started to see NPD for what she truly is - the scales have fallen from their eyes - not a moment too soon.  Helped by NPD's ridiculously dysfunctional can't stay/can't go relationship with their step father, the Walking Wallet.  

I seriously hope that your DH would not consider bailing TT out, financially?   My DH went through a spell about 12 yrs ago, when WW's business was in trouble and he was paying their mortgage (in addition to £2k per month CS)  without telling me!  When I found out I hit the roof and he stopped. 

CLove's picture

No, he is firmly in the camp of "leave it alone", and let her deal with her own ch!t.

OMG. Oh, string him up by his toenails...

stepgirlfriendfurmom's picture

file for emergency custody while TT is away? Especially since BM chose a hawaiian vacation over keeping a roof over her daughter's head?

CLove's picture

During my 45 minute commute behind a sewage truck, thoughts of filing did indeed flit through my head. Like turds when you flush them down the toilet. Its just a never-ending pile of chit with Toxic Troll.

She fight us (maybe), and hurl insult after insult, and Munchkin-in-the-middle would be crying and upset.

Im going to see how things shake out in the next week or so.

hereiam's picture

So, she's behind on rent and decides to go on a Hawaiian vacation. Nice. AND she leaves the eviction notice for SD to see, knowing that your DH and SD will be going over to take care of the rabbit. Hmmm.

CLove's picture

Word is that it came recently in the maill, and after TT left for vacay.

But, why did she buy a plane tic if she cannot afford rent????

advice.only2's picture

All you can do is be honest with Munchin, sometimes adults don't make the right choices in life and the consequences of their actions suck.

I never sugar coated anything about Meth Mouth for Spawn, she was old enough to know what her mother was doing was destructive. I used to tell her it's okay to love your mother, but you don't have to like her.

CLove's picture

Part of us wants her to just stay away.

But I LOVE Hawai'i. I want to go there.

Why does TT deserve paradise and we dont. Bleh.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Save that poor rabbit! Show Munchkin that others shouldn't suffer because of her mother's very poor choices.

CLove's picture

And DH will drive Munchkin over to feed it and water.

Toxic Troll is due back in a week. And the eviction process takes some time.

Wouldnt it be enabling Toxic Trolls choices to buy pets when she cant afford them? That anytime we will just swoop in and save the day/dave the pet?

Im in the middle. I dont want to enable, dont want that kind of enmeshment, but yet, I feel for the innocent rabbit.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

That's a tough one. Animals are my weak spot so my first response is always to save them, but I understand your dilemma. Unknw

Felicity0224's picture

So will she not have a home to go to when she gets back? Because if so I would have Munchkin go over and get anything that's of value to her. And the rabbit too. And then never take her back there. As much as I think TT should have to deal with her own mess, the idea of that poor rabbit slowly starving to death while she's cavorting around Hawaii is too awful to consider. 

susanm's picture

I just can't imagine enjoying laying on a beach - or doing anything for that matter! - knowing that I had spent the rent and was jeopardizing the wellbeing of my child.  The selfishness is breathtaking on a level that I don't think most adults can come close to understanding.  But I am sure that she is be one of those women who go on Facebook and post about how she would "die for her child."