Chasing the Narcissist - OT sorta
This has been an ongoing issue with ss33. He will get really close to DH when he wants/needs something then flee and not talk to DH for 6 months if DH is unable to meet a request. The entire time DH is moping and feeling bad that ss won't talk to him. Then suddenly ss reappears and needs to borrow DH's truck and all is good again like nothing ever happened. Chase, disappear, repeat.
I had an "Aha!" moment when I realized a close family member plays the same narcissistic chase game. She is in our lives for awhile then gets upset about something and disappears for years. Won't talk to anyone, no one knows if she's ok. She is the main topic of conversation and everyone is trying to figure out who did what to offend her and if she's still alive. Then suddenly out of the blue someone will get a phone call like nothing ever happened.
There has been a reappearance of this family member and people are again reconnecting. They are going to her and asking me if I've heard from her or if she's reached out to me. "No, and it's fine. She has my number," I say. It's been about 5 years since there's been any real contact. She's done this a few times before and in my 20's and 30's I was always on the search bandwagon trying to find her and reconnnect. Right now I am just exhausted by anyone else's drama. So done, just over it. I would never cut her off and am open to reconnection on a very minimal level but am done with the game. I've moved on and accepted that my relationship with her is done. Too much is going on in my life to play chase again. I love her and have open arms but is it really too much to expect her to make the move to reconnect this time?