still learning's Blog
DH and I own a joint home and he owns a premarital home. He wants to take out an equity loan on his premarital home with his current bank to pay off our joint home.
SIL (DH's sister) was classically enabled by her divorced daddy. When he passed away she started turning to DH to fill daddy's role and DH did. He "loaned" her money that was never repaid, and even moved her and her kid in for several years before we met. Recently, SIL couldn't work, due to what she claimed was anxiety. She lost her home, lost her job, and guess who she turns to?
I was out, DH and I were on the phone then I hear, "Hi Mom!" I asked DH, "Who was that?!" Oh, ss30' dropped by and is being funny, he says. We've been married over 7 years and it has been made clear by both ss's that I was in no way to ursurp BM's role in their adult lives or gskids lives. Which I assure you I never did or had any desire to do. I don't even call myself SM, but refer to them as Dh's kids.
Not sure if this has been blogged about yet, just wondering what your thoughts are? Too much too soon, or What a wonderful blended family! They're already calling themselves a family. I think it's telling how the daughter is front and center, a hand of each of daddy's legs, and edging step girlfriend out of the photo. Did any of you take "family" Christmas photos with your then bf and skids after 6 months?
I'm wondering how honest you are to your skids/kids when the other parent has checked out? Most articles I've read tell you to sugar coat the issue for the sake of the childs self esteem. I've done this for years or evaded questions regarding my bios fathers lack of interest or involvement. I've heard myself saying, "Your father loves you; it's just that he has to work so much right now." This is after I have worked 12 hr shifts four days in a row, yet I still have time to be a parent.
I love the Netflix series "Queer Eye." I just watched an episode where the Fab 5 were making over a man who had been with his SO for several years, had two kids together, and she had a daughter. The skid, probablly 8 or 9 decided that she didn't want to sleep downstairs in the house they were living in so the parents allowed her to have the master bedroom upstairs while they lived in the basement. Bobby (house, interior design, etc) said, "Oh no, that's not okay." Bobby was of the mindset like most of us who know better, that kids don't get everything they want or to kick the parents ou
We had a new neighbor move in a few months ago that is either divorced or separated and has 2 boys on and off. From my limited vantage point across the lawn he seems like a nice involved dad and the kids have a great set up in the yard. Yesterday I'm leaving my house and there are 3 cop cars and a DHS van lining the street. I see dad at the top of the driveway looking upset with arms folded, a police man was talking to him and throwing up his arms. There was a very distraught woman at the end of the driveway just off the property who was likely mom. She had a cop on each side of her.
This has been an ongoing issue with ss33. He will get really close to DH when he wants/needs something then flee and not talk to DH for 6 months if DH is unable to meet a request. The entire time DH is moping and feeling bad that ss won't talk to him. Then suddenly ss reappears and needs to borrow DH's truck and all is good again like nothing ever happened. Chase, disappear, repeat.