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14 yr old to decide where he wants to live?

newmommy05's picture

Bm and Dh seem to think SS14 should be the one to call the shots as to where he wants to live. He has been living with BM up till now. Bm and SS both flip flop monthly as to where he should live. It drives us nuts. We live 9 hrs away from each other so basically it would mean he would live with one parent during the school year and the other parent for holidays and summers. Should a 14yr old be allowed to make that kind of decision? I could maybe see it happening if we were talking about a very level headed and mature kid but SS is neither...

marblefawn's picture

This is how parents are now. The kids rule the roost. What do you want for dinner, honey? What do you want to wear to school, honey? Where do you want to go for vacation, honey? Whose household do you want to completely turn upside down to accommodate your whim today, honey?

lorlors's picture

SS (then 16) and SD (then 15) ran away from BM and moved in permanently with us as they had a massive falling out with her. 8 months later, SS decides he 'needs a break from DH and I' and will be moving back in with mummykins as a result of losing internet privileges for a week due to bad behaviour.

They were both informed when they elected to move in to our home full time that there would be no chopping and changing and that if they made the decision it would be final until school was completed. Our view is that children don't get to run back and forth between the homes if they don't get what they want or don't like how either home operates on a whim.

SS was immediately shut down on this. I personally felt it was a massive kick in the face for him to even raise it with us, given he and his sister completely upended my life in particular and then decided we were not suitable for him anymore. It is highly manipulative behaviour and an attempt by SS to exert control over his parents by playing them off against each other.

Not on my watch. He can do what he wants as soon as school is done in a few months and not before.