SS ran away
So if you've read my previous posts, you'll know that SS14 has been living with us since last Aug when his mom couldn't handle him anymore. Behaviourally, he has been up and down, but nothing really really bad. He has his issues, ADHD, he is defiant, entitled, etc but not a "bad" kid. He is just so incredibly irritating to be around. He is constantly in your face, demands to talk even if you don't want to, lies about everything, denies everything, forgets everything, makes a mess wherever he goes, bathroom messes etc. He is very hard to deal with. I don't feel like he respects us, he will swear at us, he has no issue with confrontation. We have tried everytrhing from taking away electronics to grounding but it always reverts back. My DH is supportive of my stance. DH is a kind and loving father, but I wouldn't say he is "strong" enough to deal with this mess. He is also scared that SS will call the cops or CPS on us just because we have rules and are strict about them. SS thinks he can do anything he wants with no consequences. We literally said he is grounded and he walked out the door.
So anyways, he ran away (to his mom's bf's parent's house) no one else will take him in. He is there temporarily until we figure out what to do. BM hasn't said it directly, but she does not want him back. We also live 9 hrs from each other so basically he has to be at one house or the other, there is no split custody. My mental health cannot deal with him anymore. Everytime I see peanut butter on the outside of the lid, or poop in the toilet (he doesn't flush), candy wrappers in his room, outside doors left open, I flip out. Its not one of these things, its a combintation of not learning from his mistakes, not caring about consequences, and just disrepect of our house in general. I have 2 young girls with my DH but SS is at the center of household because we are always arguing with him. I just can't take it anymore but we have other options. No one wants him...any ideas? The only thing I can think of is if BM won't take him back, DH and SS will have to move out and live together and he can raise him however he chooses. I want no part in this. I also don't want him influences my daughters. OBviously neither DH or I want this but we sure can't just let SS14 live on his own? Ugh...Please help!