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Momma's boy?

georgina29's picture

My husband is almost 40 and he's pretty broke financially because of his kids and divorce yet he's throwing his mother a 70th birthday party at a private event space for over 50 people which is going to cost hundreds of dollars. His sister (who is 40 and lives at home with their mom, never married and no kids) is helping him with the costs. Did I mention my husband also works for the company his mother is a director at and they talk on the phone nearly a dozen times a day? Do you think it is really necesaary to throw your mother a party when you are broke? Why not take her to dinner or a spa day? He's not going on vacation with me this summer to the caribbean to my best friends wedding because he says he doesnt have the money yet he has money to throw his mother a birthday party thats going to cost hundreds of dollars? He also took his kids on a weekend trip out of town for their spring break where he spent hundreds on that as well. Do you think this is neceassry?

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

IDk if it's necesarry... But it's possible he just hasn't gotten things through his thick man brain... My DH has the same issue sometimes... Like when his mom said she wanted to get his dad a zero turn lawn mower for father's day. (we're broke FYI) and he's all "we really should help pay fo rit... It's father's day." I laughed, reminded him we're broke and asked where his secret stash of cash is... Then reminded him, I too have parents, that I never see, and we need to send them things for these as well... So nothing we get is going to be big or expensive for them, because WE DON'T HAVE THE CAPABILITY RIGHT NOW.

Sometimes he's really just stupid... Me saying I want a beach trip, his friend said wedding and boom! We can magically afford that? (the wedding got cancelled thank goodness). Sometimes he just needs a slap to remind him that we are in fact broke and he doesn't get to pick and choose how he spends the money...

I know he's your BF, which gives you less power, but for Dh it was a solid budget and him seeing exactly where every penny goes to realize we really don't have any extra right now.

markwvualum's picture

Enjoy your solo vacation in paradise at your friends wedding. Do not feel guilty AT ALL. In fact go there looking your best and feel free to act friendly and flirty with whatever available attractive male your encounter. Hopefully it'll be your first step to getting out of your relationship. You relationship is very one sided, unfair, and toxic for you. Your husband sounds like a self centered jerk and so does his ex and mother. Your step kids sound like spoiled brats. Run. Far. Away. It will only get worse.You deserve so much better and will find it easily once you get away from that mess. Yes Im bad Wink

notsobad's picture

I hope you have separate finances. 

He can and will spend his money any way he wants, you should do the same.

Of course that means after the bills are all paid and money is put away for retirement. If he’s not covering his portion of the bills or savings for retirement you need to have a heart to heart with him. 

You have to decide a few things on your own too. How important is it to you that you travel together? How important is it to you that he make more money? How important is it to you that he be able to retire with you?