You are here

BM kept SD10 home from school because she didn't have any money?!

RustyHalo's picture

Yesterday was SD10's Santa Shop at the school. That's where they can buy inexpensive gifts for their family members for Christmas.

We get a call around 10 a.m. and BM tells FH that SD10 is sick and she took her to work with her and could he come and get her? BM has done this before - like last Monday with SD8. FH tells her that she should have called earlier and just dropped SD10 off at the house when she took SD8 to school (the school is 1/2 mile up the road from us and BM's work is about 45 minutes away). BM says that SD10 wanted to go to work with her instead. So, FH tells her that SD10 can stay there then. BM says she can't keep SD10 with her all day and FH needs to pick her up after lunch and she reminds him that it IS HIS day. FH tells her that I'm gone shopping for the day and he is "on call" for work and can't get SD10. He then reminds her that the skids always "play" sick with her and she buys it every time. BM says SD10 is not "playing". She had a fever that morning and blah blah blah and she can't take off work because she really needs the money. FH then reminds her that she missed Monday because she was hungover and maybe she should think about that for next time the skids are sick. (Sunday night BM called and told us she had too much to drink and would not be able to get the skids that night and so we would have to keep them and then the next day she did not go to work - I saw her car at the bar - she had left it there overnight - and she didn't pick it up until after noon). BM hung up. Several hours later BM's father brings SD10 to us and SD10 seems perfectly fine. I take her temperature and she doesn't have a fever and when I told SD10 her fever is gone she says I never had a fever, mommy didn't take my temperature.
SD8 comes home from school and tells us she has her Santa Shop on Friday and she needs money. SD10 then tells us that she missed her Santa Shop and she will need to shop on Friday too. I asked if their mom had given them any money and SD10 says that mommy didn't have any money to give them because she had to put $5 each in their lunch accounts ($5 dollars last two days). There was our AHA moment! So, BM didn't have any money for SD10's Santa Shop and that's why SD10 had to stay home from school.
Pisses me off! BM spends money in the bar and then misses work on top of it AND then has no money left over for her kids.
And to top it all off - I ran out to do some errands around 5 pm last night (AND to just get out of the house) and I see BM's car at the bar. She doesn't usually get off work until 6. It took everything I had to not go in there and tell her exactly what I think of her.
Anyway, I am going to the skids Santa Shop with them today to help them buy gifts and GET THIS - we will have to buy BM something and that is making me very ill. But, what can you do? She's their mom. Of course they want to buy her something. Oh well, that's the life of a stepmom at its worst.

Comments

MeanOleMe's picture

Just remember it is for them not her. Buying them something to give mommy makes them feel good, and that is what it is about.

Why wouldn't she just call you guys and say she doesn't have the money? She has to know by now you won't let HER kids go without just because she is a POS!

You are a wonderful "MOM" fifthwheel! The girls are so luck to have you!

"I will not take responsibility, where I do not have authority." ~ MeanOleMe

RustyHalo's picture

She can't call us and tell us she doesn't have any money. She chooses to go to the bar closest to our house and party with a lot of our mutual friends, so she can no longer tell us she's broke. Of course, she very well may BE broke, but spending your money in a bar is not an acceptable expense and we will not "help" pay her bar bill anymore. That's the hardest part. BM KNOWS we will not let the skids go without and therefore she CAN spend all her money on whatever......
Of course, the skids will feel really good buying gifts for all of us today. I will have fun too! And I will make sure they are able to get whatever they want for their mommy. I dearly love these little girls and I remind myself that they love me and like me, not because they HAVE to, but because they JUST do.

**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**

RustyHalo's picture

Oh, and thanks for the compliment. FH is always telling/reminding me that I am a better "mom" than their real mom. But I truly don't want to be. This is not a competition for me. And if it was - I am smart enough to know that it is a competition that I am destined to lose. BECAUSE I'm not their "real" mom. I'm just the nice lady who does everything the skids WISH their mom would do.

**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**

LotusFlower's picture

au contrare, RH....LOL...Its not a competition, but I can tell u from experience...u will win a much more important war...the one where these kids are older and respect u and truly appreciate what u do for them, because their BM has let them down so many times in the past...my SS said it best..."I love my mom because yur supposed to love yur mom,,,but as I person, I just don't like her"...TRUST me...they know and u will see it down the road...I LOVE u for the Mom u are to those girls!!!!

A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....

stepoff's picture

You ARE a wonderful mom to those girls! BM should be happy that DH found you. HOWEVER, isn't there a way that you and DH can get full custody, and cut off BM financially? Being that she's an obvious alcoholic, wouldn't the court give you and DH custody? Have you been taking notes on her behavior and drinking issues?

RustyHalo's picture

We are considering taking her back to court. We have 50/50 custody and FH pays her $800 per month. And I have a journal where I write down everything that has happened since last year. It is pages and pages of stuff. BM actually told my FH that SHE will take us back to court as soon as we're married, because of our income more than doubling. She's such a skank. But thanks so much for the compliments.

**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**

stepoff's picture

Ugh! What a cow. So she's 'sniffing around' for your money now, too? HA! Yeah, she'll be spending MUCH MORE time in that bar if she gets her skanky claws into your cash. She should be ashamed of herself. How do people like this look in themselves in the mirror? If I were you, I'd do everything in my power to get her cut off, asap.