Questions about discipline (is time out ok?)
So SD10 had been making a habit out of calling home sick on certain days. On Halloween, she called home sick and was one degree higher than average body temp (she had just been running around at recess) so they said she needed to be picked up. As soon as I picked her up and got her into the car, she started bopping around asking when we were going to go trick-or-treating. I told her that since she was "sick" there would be no trick-or-treating. She then proceeded to tell me that she wasn't sick, she had just wanted to leave school because she didn't feel like sitting in class after playing so hard at recess. I explained that's not how it works and if she continues to lie about being sick, we won't believe her when she really is.
She continued to lie about being sick, though. About once a week or so we'd get a call from the nurse saying she was in the nurse's office and doesn't have a fever but says she's sick. We would tell them to tell her to stick it out and if she still doesn't feel good when she gets home, she can lay down then. Well, by the time she would get home she'd be running around again and acting fine. We spoke with the nurse and the principal and told them we were going through this with her. We had already asked SD10 If she was faking sick because of an issue at school (bullying, etc) and she said no, she just didn't want you do PE or be in school so she pretended like she was sick so she could come home. We once again explained the whole "crying wolf" thing to her and told her that the more she does this the harder it will be for us to tell if she's really sick in the future.
Fast forward to this past week. SD10 is fine all weekend but on Monday, after recess, she goes to the nurse saying she feels sick. The nurse takes her temperature and sees that she's at about 99/100 degrees but otherwise she is acting fine. So before she calls us she gets the counselor and has the counselor ask her if anything is going on. SD10 proceeds to tell the counselor that she had trouble sleeping the night before because SD15 had gotten put in the corner and was crying (dramatically) and her sister's crying kept her up.
Let me stop here and explain why her sister got put in the corner. SD15 is very manipulative and controls her sister. SD10 has a bed time of 8:00p, SD15 at 8:30p. This is to prevent them from going into each other's rooms and staying up all night talking. At 7:45p, SD10 was instructed to start brushing her teeth, etc for bed. SD15 was told to go find a book to read or some other quiet activity to do on her own so that SD10 could get to bed At 8:00p, we went to say goodnight to SD10 and found her and SD15 in SD10's room painting their nails. I told SD15 that she needed to get out of her sister's room and SD10 needed to go to bed. SD15 gave us attitude and DH put her in the corner as a time out. While in the corner, SD15 wailed dramatically at the top of her lungs. She was told several times to keep it down because her sister was trying to sleep. She continued to cry loudly.
So back to what SD10 told her counselor. She said that her sister got in trouble and had to be "on the wall" which is what we call the "corner" or "time out" area because it isn't really so much a corner as it is an area of the house next to the living room, if that makes sense. She said her sister was crying and that kept her up, so now she doesn't feel good and wants to go home sick.
The counselor called CPS and they are coming to visit us on Monday. I'm not worried because neither me nor my DH has done anything wrong. The kids have plenty of food, a nice home, love/care, and everything they need. My question though, is: is putting your kids on the corner or time out still ok to do? I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not like we deny them anything in the corner, if they have to use the bathroom or get water, they can. We've never put either of them in the corner during a meal time or denied them dinner as a punishment. DH and I are having a hard time wrapping our heads around this.
Also, SD10 mentioned that SD15 not only woke her up that night to tell her that she was put in the corner "because of her" but also guilt tripped her in the morning before school. SD15 has a past of manipulating her sister and getting her to do her bidding, so I can't help but suspect that SD15 had some influence on what SD10 said to the counselor.
I'm at the point where if putting a disrespectful, insubordinate teenager in the corner is grounds to get them taken away, so be it. What other methods are we supposed to be using to ensure that SD15 doesn't become out of control?