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Should I be able to say NO!?

HennyPen's picture

I am so tired of FishNchip sending her kids over sick! I have talked to DH about it and we agreed they would not be sent over here sick all the time because then my son gets it and who needs to get a household sick. But...once again...he won't stand up to her and just explain why. She wants her "free nights" so we get the sick, whiney, up all night kids. I am SO tired of it. and these kids are sick ALL THE TIME! I swear. I know, being a nurse, that these kids should not be sick the way they are. Maybe her house is dirty, or the day care, but something isn't right. She's been tested for allergies, she is on antibiotics more than anyone I know. literally every other week she is at the doctor. I wish he would not push that on me, then he wonders why I am running around cleaning with disinfectant like a nut and telling my DS to stay in his room and play, that he isn't allowed to play with them because I don't want him sick. so my question is, should I be able to set that boundary? I know it's his kid and SSD (Step daughter from 1st marriage) but damn, why should she spread the germs around? I know when my DS is sick, I don't send him to his Dad's or I at least give his dad the option of hey DS is sick, I'll keep him home so your house doesn't get it. I just think that would be common courtesy, but why should I expect that out of FishNchips and he is too damn whimpy to stand up to her about it.

Comments

Snowflake's picture

I AGREE!!! I had this discussion when Dh's littleson was sick. BM was pissed because DH said that if littleson so much as coughed , that he could not come over for visitation. Well, we had a newborn at home, and were not going to risk her getting sick with some daycare RSV sickness. We would have gladly taken olderson. It was a saftey issue. Littleson had been in and out of the hospital, and we could not risk him passing it on to a newborn.

BM was pissed, but that was not our concern, our concern was making sure that our daughter is okay.

stepoff's picture

Absolutely! If it affects your child and your household, you should definitely set the rule of 'no sick skids'. If he won't stand up to BM about that, you should stand up to him. Tell him he can see his kids, just not in your house if they're sick. That's just wrong.

Amazed's picture

ROFL @ "FishNChip"

yeah, I agree. kids should stay home when they're sick. I don't let choochoo go anywhere when he's sick. And if he gets sick while he's with dad, then he stays with his dad till he's better. I have a terrible immune system and I get sick CONSTANTLY...so ALL the adults in the situation know that I DO NOT allow sick children to come into my home unless they were already there when they got sick.

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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

HennyPen's picture

Thank you for your input everyone. I know I sometimes need objective points of view because I can be pretty hard headed once I "think" I am right. I probably wouldn't be so upset if it was a once in a blue moon thing, but it is literally every other week that one of them is snotty/coughing all over the place! ugh...I guess I am going to have to just put my foot down with HIM that we have to set this rule and stick to it!

I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown