You are here

Not in a good mood!!

Willow2010's picture

UGH…I don’t really know why I can’t shake this!! If I get mad, I get over it really quickly. DH and I both do usually.

A few days ago, SS invited BM and DH to Hawaii. It still grates my nerves that DH will just not tell SS that he would not want to take a vacation like that without his wife. But no..all he tells SS is that he just wont’ be able to swing it. Kind of made it sound like he could not afford it.

Probably not my best move, but I got pissy the yesterday and asked DH if he ever told SS that he is still in love with BM, since that is the only reason I could see SS doing half the stupid crap he does. Of course DH says hell no and then gets attitude with me for even asking. That was yesterday…DH is all loving and nice now and I am just still angry. I don’t want to look at him, I don’t want to touch him.

Very unlike me!! AAAANDDDDD…We are going on a cruise in 4 days!! How awkward is that going to be, if I can’t shake this distaste for my husband at the moment? This is not how our marriage usually works. We both get over being hurt in a few hours usually. But I am just so skeeved out by all of this.

Maybe I am going through early menopause! UGH. I need to snap out of this ASAP!


RedWingsFan's picture

Awww Willow, you will snap out of it. Maybe you and DH need to have a little sit-down and "clear the air" so you both will be refreshed and ready for your cruise?

Tell him "I just need to get this off my chest. I don't want to start a fight or anything, I just need to get it out and get your thoughts on why SS is constantly wanting to get you and his mother together. I feel left out, angry, __________________(insert all of your feelings) and I want to get over this, but until I know how, I feel it may put a damper on our vacation".

Just get the conversation ball rolling and try to remain calm and understanding to what DH says. Maybe that's all you need?

Where ya headed on your cruise?

bi's picture

i think you're still mad because he won't just tell ss straight up that it is rude and disrespectful to expect him to go and have to be around bm, but leave you at home. i'm the same way with fdh. i HATE it when he answers sd's nosy ass questions that she has no business asking, and answers them the way she wants him to instead of truthfully. it's a bunch of bullshit and it's hard to respect a "man" with no balls to stand up to his brat.

stormabruin's picture

I doubt it has anything to do with early menopause or anything else in regards to you, but rather the fact that your DH insists on skirting around the truth with his grown son.

Why should it be any easier to say he can't swing it than it is to say "No thank you. If I make a trip to Hawaii, it will be with my wife."

His son is in the military. He isn't too fragile to be told the truth. I'm afraid your DH is fostering your SS's disrespect by handling it this way.

That would be hard to shake. I'm sorry.

ETA: Me & my DH had it out over stuff like this when we were talking about moving in together. I remember SS asking how much our rent was, how much our electric bill was, how much we paid for our new TV, how much his job paid, etc, & DH would tell him with no hesitation. I had a real problem with that. Household finances, bills, was never a topic up for discussion in our home when I was growing up.

I told DH that I didn't want MY money being discussed with anyone outside of US. It's nobody else's business!

He struggled with how to answer future interrogations. He stammered around with "I'm not really sure" & "I don't know. I'll have to check...", etc. THAT pissed me off. 5 simple words..."IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

Tell them once & mean it, & they won't ask again.

If your DH will be very honest & mean it when he says it, he can send a message loud & clear that doesn't need to be challenged again.

Willow2010's picture

Thanks everyone! I am really trying. I so want to have fun on this cruise and not be a crab ass.

PeanutandSons's picture

You are still upset about it because you feel that dh hasn't acknowledged your feelings. He just belittled them.

I agree with redwings, sit him down and explain to him why you were upset with his aanswer. Even if nothing gets agreed upon or resolved, you will feel better that you were at least heard.

msg1986's picture

I think you have the right to still be mad. DH is brushing your feelings off as though you are being petty... and you're NOT! I agree W/ redwingsfan, you should sit down with him and let him know calmly why you're angry/hurt. this isn't an isolated event-it's happened many times before. I'd be angry too. DH should tell his disrepectful son that as his wife you are one in the same and you're to be included and passive aggressive invites such as his invitation for bm and your dh aren't appreciated. It would be different if this was a 10 yr old but this is a grown man. Ugh... I feel for you ::Hugs::