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Temper Tantrum

Unhappy's picture

Tell me if this is normal. I have been told that little boys are different then little girls by many people.

Here's what happened last night:

SO has really bad migraines that basically put him out of action for hours. He had one of those last night and couldn't even get up. 8 pm rolls around and it's time for bed both my BD(6) and FSD(6) are listening and getting ready. I ask FSS(4) after he got into his pj's to brush his teeth. He stands in the hallway just outside the bathroom and starts crying about how he doesn't want to go to bed. I ask him again and he won't budge. So I told him if he didn't want to listen to go to his room and when he felt like he could handle brushing his teeth he could come out and do it. He goes to his room and starts having a screaming temper trantrum. So I shut his door. So he proceeds to start slamming stuff around in his room kicking his bedroom door and screaming daddy daddy daddy. After about 15 minutes of that I went out in the garage to smoke a cigarette. When I come back into the house FSD is out in the living room bothering his father who is barley consious about not wanting to go to bed. I asked him to go back to his room and again he wouldn't budge. SO has to yell at him to get him to listen which made his migraine even worse. FSS goes back to his room and proceeds to scream for another 15 to 30 minutes slamming stuff around and beating on his bedroom furniture. Eventually he stopped.

My question, is this typical little boy behavior? The girls don't act like this. Yes they do have their occasional meltdowns but they're 6. And if it's not typical what the heck is it about?

Comments

Unhappy's picture

^

If I touched that little boy his mother would freak out. You have not idea. Or maybe you do. This lady is nuts on so many levels.

Unhappy's picture

That's a really good idea. The only thing is he would trash the bathroom. And I mean trash it. Probably something along the lines of squeezing tooth paste all over the counters. Maybe flushing a whole roll of toilet paper down the toilet. I've had him rip all the clothes out of his dresser and throw them on the floor during one temper tantrum.

KatDarling's picture

Ugh, I get migraines too and I can not even imagine how horrible that must have been for your DH, not to mention you.

However, that it pretty typical bratty kid behavior. At least he listents when his daddy yells. It will definitely take some time/work before he will recognize you as an authority figure.

hismineandours's picture

Nope, I dont think it is typical. Some occassional whining,even a few tears perhaps when a 4 year old doesnt get their way-but tantruming for two 15 minute or more spells right in a row AND throwing things is not normal. IMO, throwing things is not ever NORMAL. It is an inappropriate behavior that should be addressed. Whenever my kids threw anything-they lost it-it was gone. Trust me they threw very few things after they realized this. If it was something worthless that they threw then I took something else of value of theirs. My bs11 never really had those sorts of tantrums; however, occassionally he gets involved in his video games and I've caught him throwing the controller a couple of times out of frustration. The controller and game system disappears for awhile. I've not really had that behavior out of him for several years now.

My girls have never really thrown things. My ss13 was a horrid tantrumer. (if that's a word). He could literally scream for hours over something such as bedtime-he would scream so much that his voice would be gone by morning. Sent him to his room and let him scream. He did that for about a week and then stopped. He's stubborn. He is the only one that threw things much-and he always found that they disappeared. If he kicked something in his room-if it was in anyway removeable I removed it. (the walls were tougher)

marissamae88's picture

When my boys throw tantrums I used to have no idea how to handle it because I dont believe in hitting them because they really arent my kids. I would feel to bad but I got this trick from their grandma. She says whenever they start acting up bad or start screaming really loud we tell them we will put them in the bathroom with the lights off. The boys dont like being in the dark and they know we are serious when we warn them this is the next step if they dont calm down. It makes them stop the moment I say it.

Unhappy's picture

I don't think it's normal either. I think that he is used to getting a reaction from this type of behavior and as long as he does he will continue to do it.

I spoke with my SO last night about it after he felt better and explained to him that he has a horrible habit of explaining things in detail to his kids when they are in trouble. They stop listening after the first couple of minutes and the only thing they see is that their actions got 100% of daddy's attention. I told him that when FSS is acting like that he needs to go into his room spank him and tell him to stop. That's it and just walk out of the room. Once FSS sees that this behavior is not working to get daddy's attention he will try other things like listening maybe.

I think that this is the best possible way to break this habit. It's so annoying. He starts crying every night when it's time for bed or if he doesn't get to watch a movie in bed because it's a school night.

Jsmom's picture

I think it is a little over the top. He is trying to get a reaction out of you. Lock him in his room and leave. Otherwise, my next step would be my hand on his ass. But, when it is not your bio that is hard to do. So lock him away somewhere until he can calm himself down.

I did once babysit a cousin who had these kind of meltdowns and there was nothing I could do with so I sat on him until he calmed down. He was laughing so hard he stopped his temper tantrum. Never did it again with me. I didn't put the full weight on him, I think I just shocked him...

simifan's picture

Someone has taught this child if you scream, yell and throw things you will eventually get your way. Fortunately for you, he can be deprogrammed at least at your house.

SD used to do this when she was little. BM asked DH how to handle it & was shocked it did happen @ our house. He told her the first time it happened she spent the morning in her room & was banned from TV, same for the second. Never happened a third time.

BM was outraged - didn't we go in to calm her? talk to her so she would stop throwing things?

Good Luck.