I feel like slapping somebody today. Hard.
Update: sd15 left the fricken desk lamp on at the computer because she doesn't give a shit about anyone else but herself and proceeded to melt the top of the 2 week old $1000 All in One computer SO bought me as a gift. She took his Ipod and left it at school and broke her phone. I'm about done with this chick today and my temper is running super thin with her.
Warning: white hot mad. Lots of cussing. forgive me.
SO wants to go to bed at fricken 3 am last night - "lets watch a moooovieeeee" "I rennnnteedd itttt". I'm like fine whatever. Lately he only wants to go to bed in the middle of the night due to his work schedule. Ok, I accommodate most of the time unless I have to work mornings. Last night I really really wanted to go to sleep. I didn't cuz he put on the movie and knew that I would get sucked in. It worked. This morning 6:40 rolls around. sd15 has missed her fucking bus. AGAIN. This makes the second time this week. She keeps sending me texts the days she misses with some bullshit excuse and wants me to call her in. SO and my patience is out with it bc last semester it was the same crap - she doesn't like her first class so she doesn't go! Only he doesn't do anything about it but whine about her not going. I'm like whatever, if you won't do shit about it I refuse to call her in, I refuse to take her to school and I refuse to give a shit about her grades. So he tells her ok I'll take you later. I start mentioning that since we got the new computer in the kitchen she is on it all morning and could be the reason she is missing her bus. Not managing her time properly. He doesn't dismiss the idea but starts bitching at me because I'm talking to him and he wants to go back to sleep because he is tired. You fucking serious? I worked at a fucking daycare for the last 2 days driving everyone else's snot nosed bratty kids around and went to bed late because it fit YOUR work schedule PLUS took care of all the kids and you are going to whine at ME about sleep. Fuck. You. So i give him some information about how this thing called a morning works since he hasn't seen one in the last 4 weeks, then proceed to go downstairs to get sd5 and sd9 out the door. Shortly prior to this sd9 comes in (mind you she has 10 min before she has to leave) and starts asking me to help her find a matching fashionable outfit. I'm like 10 min before you leave is NOT the time to find your outfit. You need to pick it out the night before. I remind her how yesterday went (her making everyone late out the door) and that like i said yesterday if she isn't ready to go i cant do her hair, she wont be able to brush her teeth etc. She'd have to go as she is. Now the before school program they are a part of provides a really nice full balanced continental breakfast so i never feed them at home. I couldn't give them better here. Their school doesn't start until 8:25. Yesterday sd5 was ready on time and sat waiting for sd9 to get her shit together. I'm like it isn't fair that your sister miss breakfast because you cant get ready. So I have my exchange of words with SO and come out 2 mins before they have to leave to make sure they are getting winter wear on. (our house is like 30 feet from the school so they walk thru our backyard to school) sd9 is in the bathroom trying to get her f-ing earrings in. She asks me to help. Im like NO. YOU.HAVE.TO.GOOOOO. I have no contacts in! Shes like fine!! Goes downstairs, starts getting coat on. Informs me her expensive DC's were stolen at school cuz she left them somewhere. I'm like Ok.. well not much i can do. Starts putting shoes on. Slooowww... Then tells me she needs to play me her song on her recorder because she was supposed to last night. I'm like why didn't you say something last night when i spent an hour and a half helping you with your project. "Oh i forgot". I'm like not enough time! Your sister is ready, you aren't going to be able to have breakfast, YOU.NEED.TO.GOOOOO. She continues to get her stuff together. She disappears for a moment, comes back and tries to hand me a ponytail holder and a brush. I'm like YOU DON'T HAVE TIME! YOU WONT EAT, YOUR SISTER WONT EAT! I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY, IF YOU WEREN'T READY ON TIME I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO HAIR!!! This point I'm not yelling - I'm not a yeller by nature BUT I am speaking firmly.
She has the NERVE to start throwing a temper tantrum. She is going to be 10 fucking years old in 2 and a half weeks and she starts STOMPING through MY house. Whining and crying and flailing her arms. Ladies and Gentlemen. I LOST it. Straight flipped out. sd5 is standing at the door still in her things waiting to go. I am yelling, I am swearing. I am informing her that her shitty lack of time managing is what got her a ticket to looks-like-shitsville at school and not me. I told her I warned her. I told her she would be getting p 2 and a half hours earlier with her older sister just so that she didn't have annnnnnyyyybody but herself to blame when 8:20 rolled around and she couldn't figure out why she wasn't fucking at school. I told her that what she is doing to her sister is bull and that SHE STILL NEEDED TO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Where is SO one might ask? Hiding in bed, listening to the fucking party with the covers pulled over his head I am sure - hoping the kids leave and I stfu before he actually has to move his ass. ss3 is in his room asking me for reassurance that he was a good boy, he got dressed. I feel bad for him. Like I said. I don't yell so when I do everyone's head's snap to attention and all around shit their pants. I have a loud big girl voice anyway. Working until 9pm at the daycare with 14 kids to myself and 1 other person has shredded the remenants of the tiny patience I had left. sd9 shuts up and stops her freakout. She is still crying. She starts wandering around the house. Putting the brush away. Gathering her things up starts to head upstairs. I am astonished. "What the hell are you DOING??" i am asking. "Getting my brush?" is the reply. I'm fairly certain somewhere off in the distance i can hear my sanity laughing at me as it fades into the distance. I know the blood vessels in my eyes have probably popped and I'm pretty sure an aneurism is close at hand. I repeat myself this time in a high pitched you-had-better-leave-the-fucking-house-before-I-have-a-meltdown voice "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
She leaves. sd5 leaves. I blow her a kiss. I am certain she is torn between thinking "Ha ha! I am the good one! (sing song voice) in her head, and holy shit this lady is NUTS." Either way sd9 is halfway down the driveway - still crying and leaving her sister in the dust. I stomp upstairs. SO is still in bed. I am assuming he is just squeezing his eyes shut so he can pretend he is sleeping and I am not there. I slam the door so hard that I'm almost certain that the dog peed herself. I stomp into the bathroom in our bedroom. Have a miniature screaming tirade, stalk out. ss3 is there trying to see if daddy will get him some cereal. Fuck dad. That is what I am thinking. I tell him in a nice but super loud voice so SO has to hear me. "Come downstairs honey - I'll get you cereal". SLAM. Dog pees. Stomp downstairs. Slam closet door shut. Get ss3 cereal. Take dogs outside that sd9 failed to do as well this morning. Leave them out extra long so they can bark under SO's bedroom window. If I don't sleep today after all that bullshit - Neither does he. sd15 is in her room sleeping right now. Why? - yet again you may ask- because I WONT TAKE HER TO FUCKING SCHOOL. SO WONT GET HIS ASS OUT OF BED. I'm the sort of lady that needs her full 8 hours. After this morning everyone is fucked in my house. Happy wife - happy life. Not in the Cinna household today. Today we are supposed to celebrate sd15s bday because she had been at her moms on her bday. Fuck that. SO - You GOT this. Since it is likely to be the only thing you "get" today. Its 9pm. He's still sleeping like a baby. This stepmom has run out of give a damn and patience.
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9am* sorry. Also I forgot the
9am* sorry. Also I forgot the part where shortly before my stomp upstairs sd9 comes BACK from walking halfway to school because -get this- she left her flippin BACKPACK here. Once again that question comes up, why? Well friend, I will tell you - because she doesn't ever put her shit away. sd5 and ss3 are neat freaks like me. sd9 is a complete slob and is waiting until housekeeping comes and turns downs her covers and places a mint on her pillow. BM is a slob and lets them throw their garbage wherever they stand. Just goes to show the 6 years sd9 lived with BM apparently made an impact.
All I can say is,,,,,, holy
All I can say is,,,,,,
OMG LOL...not meaning to
OMG LOL...not meaning to laugh but it's funny I can totally PICTURE this scenarion in my head!!!
FIRST off, I will say sometimes what you described with skids is what I go through with my bios to leave the house, mornings are NUTS, I turned into someone in need of an excorsist typically. If it's not one kid, it's the other, running late, not ready in time, dragging feet. I DESPISE morning times at my house. OMG I want to shoot myself sometimes lol-SO in that regard some of us go through this with our own kids.
THAT said, if I had to do this with steps I would SURELY be in a loony bin or arrested for going off the deep end What is UNREAL to me is that your idiot husband STAYS in BED while you get HIS KIDS READY???
What is the scenario w/you guys a bit, do you have some background? What are you doing so much for his 4 kids, do you have your own? Did he just find a wife to take care of his kids? What's the custody agreement? Why hasn't he seen a morning in 4 weeks, what man insists on a movie at 3am when his kids need to get up to school the next day??? My blood is boiling FOR YOU...even though I'm still laughing in my head at the scene because on some days that's my house
Honestly, at the point SD5
Honestly, at the point SD5 needed to get to school I would have calmly taken her by the hand and walked her out the door to school. I would have left SD9 to fend for herself. If she wasn't headed out the door for school when I got back, I would have sent her to the bedroom where SO was ignoring the commotion and tell her she needed to explain to her dad why she wasn't at school and let him deal with it. I would have washed my hands of it and just taken care of the little ones who needed it. SD9 and SD15 can be on their own, and either SO can take up the slack or they can sink on their own.
Why are all the kids with you
Why are all the kids with you and your SO. Why isn't the BM in the picture? Why r u raising 4 children by yourself when they are NOT yours? You need to pack your bags and go on a little vacation because obviously you are being treated like a hired Nanny.
I'm sorry, but thank you for
I'm sorry, but thank you for writing that. It was hilarious. I know you were/are white hot pissed, but at least the last bit of sanity you had left to put it down in a blog kept its sense of humor. Without it, you'd have surely perished.
Like the rest of the posters, I am also curious as to why mister SO thinks he can stay in bed while you take care of his kids, and why he is so inconsiderate as to keep you up til the wee hours of the morning. Seems like you're getting the shaft m'dear.
So! to answer all the
So! to answer all the questions! I am a custodial stepmom to 4 with no biokids yet, ages 5,9,3 and 15. Due to criminal charges, BM is not in the picture. She has skids a grand total of 4 days a month. SO works as a salaried manager - often 10am to 11pm (hence the lack of daylight hours). He commutes 1 hour there and 1 hour home. He isn't around much which is how i ended up with skids 90% of the time. Our custody order has full physical and sole custodial rights to SO with visitation at HIS discretion. He is able to pick the days, times and lengths. He is extremely fair given BMs many many many incidents with the children in her care (kids firing handguns with no adults present,shoplifting with her children, bf into drugs and alcohol etc). SS3 has lived with me full time since he was 16 months old. In my other blog posts you will see that my relationship with my steps is 6 days out of 7 very good and SO is almost always a huge help. Unfortunately he is used to working long and many hours with someone at home to do it all for him. He lets me run my household and his kids exactly how i like and provides a unified front with me on whatever I deem necessary. He is generally very thoughtful and will do basically anything asked of him cheerfully. HOWEVER, the last few weeks or so he has been very irritable and has gotten a little TOO comfy for my liking. We have been living together for 3 years and I recently put it to him that if this ride is going to continue it needs to come with a ring or some paperwork that names me as legal everything to whatever we have. I'm a generous person and caring specifically to those I love and he is normally very appreciative for everything I do, however I am not a doormat and never have been. I am opinionated,stubborn and will make my feelings known, and have a very like it or leave it attitude. He will have to decide where he wants this to go but ladies I can guarantee MissCinna gives no free rides and while i like being his girlfriend I will not let someone take advantage of me long term. If it comes to it i am never afraid to be alone.
That being said I really am happy that many found this funny. It really is funny in the aftermath. My SO, Skids and Myself are all very thick skinned so even after a day like today sd9 came home wanting to tell me all sorts of things etc. She still will be going to bed tonight 30 mins early. Waking up 30 mins early, and getting all her things ready for tomorrow ahead of time tonight. I dont make promises (even when yelling lol) that i dont intend to keep.
Elizabeth i like your suggestion. It is very "me" and I will give it a try next time.
SO leaves for training in another state in 2 weeks and is gone for a whole week. I wish i could go on Vacation then but alas - I will have skids because judge agreed kids are to be home all school nights due to BMs many many failures taking them to school, running out of gas on the way to school, not doing homework, calling them in sick to stay home and "hangout with her", the fact she lives 20 mins away (thank god) and oh yeah the most important - HER LACK OF CAR. SO it will be allllll 5 of us without SO for a week. Great. Looking forward to it. Maybe I'll make grandma come stay with them...thinks furiously.