I feel so hurt and upset and angry. My ss3 (stb 4 in may) has been a COMPLETE ASSHOLE to me for the last 2-3 weeks. The only consolation is that he is an asshole to his mom too. Lately he's been going through a phase where he only wants daddy. He wont talk to me unless he wants to know where daddy went or has an oddball question. He doesn't want to stay with me. He wants to be his dad's fucking girlfriend. Whenever dad is around he crawls ALL the fuck over him. To the point where FDH pushes him off his lap because he shoves his sisters to the side. He wants to hog his dad to himself like he owns him. Everything is daddy I want, daddy can I, I want to go with dad, I want to be with dad, I love daddy. It isnt even like FDH is really playing into it or anything. When we are home he follows him around. He will only listen to him. We went on vacation and he was a total fuck to me. I went to take all the kids to the water park and he gets three doors out of the room and says he would rather stay with dad. I say have at it. He runs back to the room only to realize the door is locked. Sits there yelling for me to unlock it. I kept walking, ignored him. I have tried being super nice to him, ignoring him, being sort of mean to him. FDH took the other girls out to do stuff by themselves (i had pointed out last year how he had favored ss3 and how all the photos are of the 2 of them.) and he left ss3 with me in the room. I tried to lure him with pie. Being sweet and asking if he wanted to have some with me. He told me he didnt want to have pie with me. He wanted to wait for dad. He woke up in the middle of the night and I went into his room because I just so happened to be awake and he quit his fake ass crying right away, squared me up and said "I dont WANT you. I WANT dad. I told him tough shit. After that night I told FDH that he is his fucking problem. ALL the time. EVERY time until this kid quits treating me like garbage. He shit himself in the middle of the night a few days ago and WOW did ss3 get to see a whoooole other side of daddy. He sat there trying to be babied and FDH totally schooled him. It was nice not to be the only one getting upset for once. Unfortunately for ss3 and Daaaadddyyyy he has to go back to work next week and the daycare lady is on vacation. I told fdh i wont put up with this shit and if it continues he WILL go to his moms house for the week because he can go and treat her like garbage because i want nothing to do with it. He can be a douchebag to his REAL mom. (Laughs bitterly - I've raised him nearly exclusively since he was 16 months old).

On another front. I have been in the process of disengaging (this shit with ss3 started before that) and it seems to be going well. Besides ss3's bullshit I feel happier and ironically things have improved between fdh and I! I think now its about him seeing firsthand what I deal with and the kids respond better to him anyways (he's dad). When we went on vacation i got to actually ENJOY it. I did nothing I didn't want to do expect pack the bags, and the car which i volunteered to do since he was working the days prior to leaving. He even took off more days thru this weekend so that we could have time alone together while the kids are at BM's. I am happier because I don't have to feel responsible for their upbringing or be the control freak anymore. FDH is happy cuz he doesn't have to hear me bitch about their crap anymore. FDH has been really sweet to me lately and we've had a really great time laughing and joking. My stress is lessened and I think he finally feels in charge of his family.

The only people suffering this is the kids. sd10 has changed the tone she requests things completely. Humble pie anyone? Last night she started to whine at me about how I hadn't done her laundry and before we even got to the blaming part I cut her off turned around and walked out without even so much as looking at her and I just said I'm sorry to hear that in my best "let me write that down in my things I don't give a fuck about notebook" she shut her mouth and fast. She has tested me to see how resolved I am in this. I have shut her down pretty fast on things that are her mom's responsibility. She tried complaining to me that she needed rain boots so she had boots for the mud at her moms. I plainly told her that I had purchased her many shoes and that it was her moms turn and that if she needed something at her moms house she would need to ask mom. She tried to argue "well you havent bought MANY shoes" I named off between 5-7 different pairs that were expensive, nice shoes I had bought her. FDH jumped in and totally backed me up! It was awesome. She just shut up again. I realized she has been trying to manipulate both of us (me and her mom) to feel sorry for her to get as much shit as she wants. Yeah this cashcow has run out.

sd5 and I actually finally made a connection! We have been attached at the hip, I get to play with and enjoy her without any of the negativity of actually disciplining her save for moments where it is just me.

sd15 and I are at a 50/50. She is pissed I am doing this and tells me she feels like I am mom (or a mom) to her and so it isn't fair to 'abandon her to dad'. She, however, refuses to help around the house, doesn't tell me thank you when I took her out for dinner and shopping date and bought her $100 worth of clothes and then whined that she didn't find the things she was looking for. She cares only for herself however I chalk some of it up to being 15 and selfish. I remember myself at that age and I was pretty similar minus the please and thank you. What REALLY gets me is that she feels super entitled to mine and dads money. She actually once called it "our money" meaning mine,hers and dads. I started cackling and set that straight.

ss3 is as above mentioned. He treats me and his mom like he has no use for us. He tells fdh he doesn't want to go to mom's house and that he just wants to be with him. Its really shitty because fdh has NEVER been his primary caregiver or anything else! fdh is feeling the heat about it though because both myself and BM have been pissed about it and made it known. Its not even the favoring daddy that everyone is upset about its the stuff he says that is just MEAN. He'll say something like "go away, I don't want you - I want daddy" to me or her. He's even come home and bragged about being mean to his mom. I have to say at this point I am just ignoring him and wont let him do ANYTHING without daddy's approval first so if we are home together alone he just watches tv until dad comes home. FDH says he is 3 and doesn't really understand what he's doing. I think that is true to some extent but I also know he is incredibly intelligent - what 3 year olds do you know who can make his own waffles start to finish by himself including setting his silverware setting and cutting all of them? I think this whole thing coupled with the fact that he has been shitting himself (not peeing though?) ON PURPOSE!!! I CAUGHT him telling his sister while he was laughing in this sly voice that he just pooped his pants!! It wasn't until she told on him that he freaked out about it. Then he wanted me to clean him up, take his pullup off, etc. He was delighted about the whole thing. I refused. Then the meltdown came. He has been fully potty trained (except peeing occasionally at night) for the last 2 years. After it didn't get the reaction from me that he wanted he has never pooped himself around just me since. He tried it with daddy. That went worse than when he did it with me. Now he just does it at his mom's house. ALL. WEEKEND. LONG. she just cleans him up and sends him on his way to play. Manipulative little shit. I'm really starting to dislike him. UGHHHHHH