I agree with Finey.The text was sent to your BF about HIS child's B-day party. I'm not sure of the appearance it will make with the court because it truly is petty, but in the BM's eyes, it does paint you out to look like a jealous control freak. I'm not saying that she probably didn't deserve it, but sometimes the high road truly is the best road at least for appearances sake. The next time you feel yourself losing it, call a girlfriend, talk to your guy, talk to anyone but the BM. you'll be glad you did when your anger subsides

I went through this too and it's absolutely maddening. It's as pointless as arguing with a chicken or discussing the meaning of life with your crock pot. I've learned that with crazy people like that, they are living in their own delusional world and don't function in the real world that the rest of us occupy.
It sounds like she has that disturbingly common sense of crazy entitlement that so many BMs have.
They don't listen to reason and they want what they want and they aren't logical or reasonable.

It is perfectly reasonable, given your BF/Fiance's history of being stalked by his ex, that your entire family refuse to have anything to do with her. On top of the fact that you already threw a party for your SD and got to spend time with her and your family got to celebrate with her, it is nuts for this woman to expect/demand that you send YOUR BD to her step or half sister's party! Why on Earth would she expect her to show up?! I'm assuming your BD was there to celebrate her sister;s birthday at the party you threw, so in effect, your family has already celebrated and there's no need for any one of you to go to the BMs party. You already showed your SD that you care about her and you already got to have a family celebration so on top of that, why would you or your BD daughter want to have anything to do with the BMs party?

BM's reaction is even worse and grown women should not have immature, babyish tantrums over meaningless crap like that. I doubt she actually cared if your daughter came to the party, and I;m guessing it was more about some stupid mind game/power trip. Women who act out like that and that are crazy enough to stalk a man that has dumped them and remarried, tend to have weird control issues and like to engage in power struggles. She is obviously trying to create drama in your household and get attention and I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of reacting. Just ignore her completely. Nothing will piss her off more and you can emotionally cut her out of your life and walk away from the crazy.

The stupid thing is that they create the drama and then take some fake high horse (trust me, i've experienced this with my heinous BM). Our BM would do the most outrageous, unacceptable things involving such bad parenting and lack of being able to provide and then when DH or I stepped in and said something, she sometimes tried to act like we were the crazy, immature ones, just picking fights with her (for fun, I guess?), while she acted like a self-righteous prig (while looking like a pig) and claimed that we were the instigators and the cause of the conflict!! She is absolutely nuts! For example, right after DH and I got together, she threatened me with a physical attack and I had to have my dad walk me to and from my car for safety, the police recommended a restraining order against her and a whole bunch of other BS. THEN, when I reacted and told her what I thought and that if she threatened me or attacked me in any way, I would slap a lawsuit on her so hard her head would spin. I repeatedly told her to leave me alone and later when she began stalking me (and recruiting her drunk and high and not very bright friends to help her) I finally went to the big Kahuna at our company and filed a formal complaint and my lawyer was encouraging me to sue (I wish I had now!). Crazy BM then acted as if I had been the stalking, aggressive one and spouted off a bunch of lies to anyone who would listen. Fortunately, everyone she talked to knew me and knew that her claims could not possibly be true (including the rumor that I had used witchcraft to seduce DH!!!! Lol). She made a huge fool of herself and was a laughingstock in our social and work circles.

At one point, after months and months of endless harassment, I told her exactly what I thought of her and her fake courage fell apart and I freaked the hell out of her. It got to the point where she literally begged me not to tell her what I thought and I ended up making a deal with her. I said that if she stopped lying about me, spreading untrue rumors, stalking me, calling my house at 3am and sobbing into MY phone to DH about would he take her back etc...I would not communicate with her or tell her what I thought. She wasn't able to restrain herself, so she got one of the harshest, nastiest letters i've ever sent and it shook her up so much that she had a nervous breakdown and lost all sense of social appropriateness (well, what little she had in the first place) and distributed my letter to all of our mutual friends, all of her co-workers and people she supervised in a pathetic attempt to make me look like an evil bitch. Unfortunately for her, it backfired and she just got a reputation for being crazy and obsessed with her happily married ex-boyfriend and soon after lost her job...

The crazy does catch up with them eventually and Karma is something I firmly believe in. What goes around comes around!!

Don't let her get to you and just do your best to avoid contact with her. I would boycott all events thrown by or including the BM, as we do. In our case, BMs social circle is a small group of loser, drug addicts and barflies, so we don't ever have to worry about going to the same social events and none of our friends would let her in their front door. We avoid all contact with her and my husband has been practicing low contact co-parenting and it's helping a lot! BM is falling apart and I can see that she's freaking out over not seeing DH as much (she is still bizarrely attached to him) and I think it's finally sinking in that she is only an unimportant peripheral person in our lives and the time is coming when we will have no contact with her whatsoever. It's a wonderful relief to us, but she is losing her shit over it. Luckily, I don't give a damn!

It looks like your BM was also a drop out at the loser school of pathetic stalking and pointless obsession. Good luck and stay as far away from that woman as you can! And I would keep my daughter away too!

Its pointless to try to talk to these kinds of people. Their ignorance just tends to piss you off more!

I hate the BM double-standard.

Our BM had a conniption fit because we would put the Parents Journal in one of the skids' bags to take back to BM. We have a no-contact order in the CO so this is how they are supposed to communicate. BM said that H needed to PERSONALLY HAND HER THE NOTEBOOK rather than "putting the children in the middle."

While I totally agree with not putting the skids in the middle, this is the SAME BM who would have the skids call up (SD only actually) with all sorts of reasons why they had to cancel or switch weekends. Leaving H to either be the "bad guy" or let them do whatever BM wanted.

She didn't think THAT was putting the skids in the middle!

Sounds to me like this is a 'high conflict' situation that isn't likely to get better as long as there is contact between any of you. Your BF should go 'no contact' with this BM from hell and attempt to do some kind of parallel parenting plan. IT CAN BE DONE. Other than emergency situations, the plan should state that the only communication will be via email. If the BM demands to speak to her BD via the phone, purchase a trac phone and only turn it on at specified times so she doesn't try to harass you with it. Keep records of everything. Keep emails to the point and business like. You get where I'm going here. Now, if she is as unstable as she sounds, she will do her best to rev you up. She'll refuse to follow the plan, show up unannounced, keep texting, etc... All of this will actually work in your favor and will help your BF retain custody. You have to be patient AND you really have to do everything in your power to avoid her insanity at all costs. This is how these nasty BM's operate. They will push you hard and often hoping to get a rise out of you. They will wage smear campaigns, create chaos where none need exist, they will attempt to break you down so you come out looking crazy. Don't fall for it. Don't take the bait. Count to 3 and take deep breaths.

And for the record... I don't care how many kids she has with your BF, she has no right to control YOUR household with her bull$hit.

Good luck and best wishes!

i don't know why bm or you would be texting eachother to begin with. to be honest and just my opinion but it IS none of your buisness what her and your BOYFRIEND talk about concerning scheduling for the kiddo's even if you are married, it's still between PARENTS. as far as stalking and some instablility i highly doubt that will win HIM custody. as long as she's not doing drugs and through what ever means possible support the kids and provide even if it's through someone else. the court wont care about that...she's finding HER way to provide and mom and dad paying for your place to live isn't illegal, so they wont question it. as far as getting welfare and working or whatever, all you can do about that is contact DHS or the ppl providing the welfare and tell them the info you know, whether or not it'll remove her or not or if they press charges, you may never know.

just change your cell phone number or block her from contacting you. i'd remove yourself from ALL contact from her besides a hi and bye and occassional "how are you" the bm in my case doesn't have our home phone number, only has dh's cell, and it'll stay that way, she only has what information we are REQUIRED to give her...nothing more this avoids her or her spouse from calling and leaving inappropriate messages that the ENTIRE family can hear on a regular answering machine......don't play the game