CPS!!!!!! WTF
Sunday last week:
FSD(6) is taking a bath. She dumps water all over the bathroom floor. SO goes into the bathroom to clean up the water. FSD mouths off to SO, which is pretty typical behavior for her. SO flicks FSD in the mouth. FSD jerks her head back and hits it on the other side of the tub.
Last Friday:
SO is out grocery shopping when he gets a call telling him that he needs to come home immediately and that it was about his daughter. SO is freaking out because he thinks something has happened to FSD. It turns out that the ex convinced FSD that SO grabbed her by the face and slammed her head into the bath tub. SO is interviewed by a police officer and a lady from health and welfare. Apparently they were also asking questions about me and my daughter. How my BD and I get along with the kids and how they get along with us. They also suggested that we go to blended family counceling. Makes me wonder what else the EX said. The cop told SO that FSD is not affraid of him she's affraid that her mother will tell SO what she said. NO SH!T. THAT'S BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU'RE LYING. SO calls the EX after they leave and asks her why she would do that and that she knows he would never assult his children. The EX responds with a, "I didn't know this was going to happen." (She's stupid but not that stupid. When you turn someone in for child abuse there will be an investigation.) He proceeds to tell her that whatever opportunities they would have in the future of co-parenting together will never happen at this point and then hung up on her.
I can't believe this little girl or her mother. I keep telling SO that she won't stop. He thinks that just becuase she has stopped stalking him that it's all over. I wonder if he wants to retract that statement now. The EX knows that he isn't capable of doing that. She's in the process of doing something at the moment. I'm not sure what. I do have some theories though. 1.) She is just trying to insert herself into his/our life again. 2) She is trying to get full custody of the kids so that he will come back to her. 3) She is trying to destroy him. 4.) She is trying to cause so much drama in our relationship that I leave SO.
What worries me is now I don't know how to interact with FSD. I know that if the EX could get her to say something about me she would call CPS on me as well and FSD wants mommies attention so bad that she will do whatever in order to get it.
Does anybody know what we do at this point?
- Unhappy's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I think the blended family
I think the blended family counseling was a good idea. FSD needs to learn that it's not OK to lie just to get mommy's attention.
I hope you can find a counselor that is well-versed in stepfamily issues. Good luck!
I agree with you Foxie. SO
I agree with you Foxie. SO doesn't think that I should but I have my own child to think of and I would not put it past the EX to take it to the next level. She doesn't care about how her actions will affect anybody but herself.
It worries me about what she could get this little girl to say about me. And she is just getting started with this new attempt at whatever it is that she is trying to do. I don't want anything to do with that little girl at the moment.
I can't say that I would go
I can't say that I would go along with it. If BM is involving me and my own child, that is going way too far. She would get a VERY strong message that there are consequences to HER from ME if she gets in MY business. I have to agree though, I wouldn't want to have much to do alone with FSD because of this. You can't trust what will be said.
If CPS knows that BM has
If CPS knows that BM has pushed the kid to lie and the kid is afraid that BM will tell dad about the lie the kid told at BMs bequest then I would drag BM to counseling so that the counselor can rip her a new asshole, then file charges against her for making false accusations, grab her by the short and curlies and drag her aggressively back to court any time she so much as thinks about trying to screw with you and your family.
If she wants to play CPS games, give her a game she will always regret.
I have zero tolerance for this kind of crap and IMHO the only way to address it is aggressively and with every possible consequence you can bring to bear on the opposition.
My SS-18's SpermIdiot and SpermClan learned to shut the hell up and do what we told them to do when we told them to do it because the consequences we would invoke for their toothless moron actions were too painful and expensive for them to live through twice.
For several years my wife attempted to "be reasonable" with them and work with them until I got sick of her breaking in to tears because they were being ignorant and pushy with her. So, we loaded for bear and blew their doors off in court and with well documented records of their ignorant crap.
After that our response to anything from them was "STFU and here is exactly what you are going to do". They bitched and whined but they did what they were told because they knew we would not tolerate any crap from them.
It has been 7mos since my son's final SpermIdiot visitation and the SpermClan adults have not bothered to call him even once. The SpermIdiot half sibs do but the adults could give a shit about him. Hopefully we beat the snot out of them enough over the past ~17yrs that they will leave him the hell alone for the rest of his life.
Take control, for your family and for your SKid.
DE JA VU!!!
DE JA VU!!! MMMMMEEEEMMMMOOOOOORIIIEEESSS!!
This happened to GG just in a different form.
On one weekend, we make skids do a few minutes of yardwork
STTEEEEERIIIIIKKKKEE ONE!!
Then VD starts imitating WWE moves on her brother and kicks Prince Hygiene in the face. GG moves in and scolds her for it.
STEEEEEEERIIIIIIKKKKE TWO!!
They go home on Sunday night but I KNEW something was brewing. . .I could FEEL it. GG had not a clue.
GG called the Behemoth's on WEdnesday and made small talk with the oldest (SS Brainiac at the time 11) Brainiac knew what conspiracy was about to take place but covered nicely and said the younger two were "busy" so that they wouldn't get on the phone and tip GG off (btw the Behemoth IS a CPS worker by trade, nice, eh?)
Well that Friday (I was in EVERY weekend hell in the early years) GG went to go get the three lovlies and received a phone call from CPS NOT to pick up the children that we were under investigation.
The Behemoth used her power as CPS worker to say that GG split VD's lip, trash talked all three and was making them do "age inappropriate work" (i.e. picking up twigs for 20 minutes)
She had it run up the flag pole and sent directly to the NYS Child Abuse and Maltreatment Center without GG getting a final report (clerical error they said. . .yeah right)
It took me SIX MONTHS to get it "unfounded"
Later all three skids admitted that they "lied to make mommy happy" and that "mommy made daddy look like a monster" and of course that they were grilled every time they came back to the Behemoth's with leading questions.
Has GG ever confronted the Behemoth about this and told her to cut out her shit? Why NO!
Is GG getting ready to start up the same pattern only with older, wiser skids? Why YES!!
Glutton for punishment I say. These three children are totally ruined and the only thing that would save them is to be sent to boarding school and have both bio (non) parents lose custody permanently.
Your DH needs to:
1. realize what he's dealing with (vengeful spiteful BM and poisoned skid)
2. lay it on the line to the BM and tell her to cut out the crap
3. inform SD that there will be no more shenanigans
AND if I were you, I'd totally cut out the "F" in "FDH" and "FSD" until biodad lays down the law and can assure you that BM and SD will be put in their place.
This is all great advise. The
This is all great advise. The only issue is that SO can not put this lady in her place. She is nuts. She is one of those people that if you tell her to knock it off, she'll just continue to do it. FSD is so maluable that the EX can probably make her believe that she is actually being abused.
We can't drag her to court over the false accusation because FSD had a little bruse from it. What I don't get is that the little girl did it to herself. SO just flicked her. She was the one that reacted by throwing her head back and bumping it on the bath tub.
I just don't get it. Why won't the EX just leave us alone? Anybody have an answer for that? Anybody?
At this point we are going to none contact. But before we do that we are going to get her to admit via email that she knows that SO is not capable of doing that. She already admitted that to him over the phone. Why call CPS and not SO then if she had any concern? The next email is going to be about all the stuff that we have had to deal with when the kids come home from her house, i.e. black eyes, infected toes, mouths being so chewed up they may need stiches, the fact that I have seen FSD at school in December and January standing in front of the classroom door shivering because mommy forgot her jacket, the fact that FSS alomst lost his hand on a tread mill beacuse nobody was paying attention, and the mind games she has played with FSD. And the final email is going to state all the stalking incidents, waiting in front of the house in her car at 3 am, the 60 plus texts of her begging him to come back to her, calling his parents bawling and trying to talk his mother into talking him back to her, calling her father and having her father call him, calling him and begging him not to let me move in, showing up at our house when both SO and I were at work, telling SO that she was terminally ill in hopes to get him back, this list can go on. At this point SO is going to tell her that he just can't deal with her anymore and that she should only email if it's kid related unless it's an emergency.
The idea behind these emails is 1.) to get her to admit that she didn't think that he did that and should have never called CPS. 2.) To get her to admit that there have been serveral incidents with her parenting as far as suporvising her own children. 3.) Motive to calling CPS. If we can get her to admit to all of the stalking she has done in the last year.
The way that I see it, if she knew that he would never do that, then why call CPS? I think it might have something to do with the fact that she can't manage to let go and the stalking will prove that. I'm thinking that with these email, it should prove helpful for us in the future.
What do you think?
I have been in your shoes as
I have been in your shoes as well. My ex, the BF, had our oldest daughter who was 4 or 5 at the time tell DCFS and the state police in 2 different districts, that my husband beat her. She had a bruise on her leg from an incident at school where one of the students pushed her down. My ex "convinced" her that SDad had hit her. We had no idea any of this was going on until DCFS showed up at our door just minutes before EX brought them back to us after a weekend visit.
There were several problems with the story and several mis-steps by DCFS. The investigator we had lived by the theory that if a child tells you they are being hit they are automatically telling you the truth. The younger the child the more they belive them. The reasoning behind this is that the younger the child the less likely they know how to lie. Yes, that's a laugh and yes, she really believed it.
According to DCFS my daughter said she was spanked because she MADE her bed, not because she didn't make it. She was beat with a spoon all the time but can't ever remember a time that it happened. She told the investigator (at my home)that she loved her Stepdad and that they have lots of fun. She told the DCFS lady that her dad made her say those bad things and she didn't know why. Several times the investigator would TELL my daughter that "I know you are just scared of your stepdad and you can tell me what he really did to you". The investigator went on to file "founded" charges against my husband.
It took a year, over $5,000 in attorney's fees, and more patience then I ever knew I had to get the charges dropped. We ended up in front of a state Administrative Law Judge. All it took was to get the case out of the hands of the original investigator and all of it disappeared. Of course, getting my lame brained ex in front of the judge helped a lot as well. He admitted to the judge our daughter told him how she got the bruise, that he didn't believe her and helped her to remember how she really got it. :jawdrop: He also admitted to having plans in action to get custody of the girls himself.
In the end, it all worked out but to say I still hold a grudge is an understatement. We wanted to file charges against him and was told it takes several times of filing false charges before we would get any success. What we were able to do though was to file for a restraining order. Ex had made several comments about getting the girls "one way or another". Ex went 6 monthes without seeing the girls at all, another 3 monthes with supervised only for 3 hours a week before he could resume regular visitation.
Has he changed his routine? No, we were told to prepare for him to do it again. It would seem this type of person has a pattern, LOL. He did.....3 more times. DCFS now knows him. All of our names are flagged in the state database and they read to him a paragraph about how if charges are declared intentionally false that the person reporting the abuse will have criminal charges filed against them. He hasn't filed any charges against us in the last year. WHoo Hoo!! We are expecting it to happen again this summer though, as he usually does this just before we have a big event planned. We will see.
Ok you mentioned that the BM
Ok you mentioned that the BM is crazy. Nope she is VENGEFUL. Crazy people generally stop making issues at some point.
Why call CPS and not SO then if she had any concern
Godsgift said the same thing when the Behemoth called CPS on us. Ummmmmmm, HELLOOOOOO?? The BM doesn't want to CO-PARENT with biodad, she wants to BARBEQUE HIS ASS!!