Confession Time - I Was Wrong
So, I was internally frustrated and angry at my DH because I thought he lied to me and went behind my back to buy his son a train ticket to come work a job with him. DH told me that SS bought the ticket himself:
Anyway, I was getting ready to meet with DH about the finances/budget for the month and I planned to calmly ask him about it. I looked at the CC statement one more time and noticed the date - about 2 1/2 weeks before SS went up the second time. Then I remembered that DH had told me he was going to take the train to NYC for a meeting / to pursue a business lead on his two days off...business that he got.
So. Dumb me. This wasn't an example of my DH lying about finances and/or taking advantage of me. It was an example of DH using his business CC for what it's intended for and working super hard to get his earnings back on track...which is a huge improvement over last year. I feel kind of like a jerk and am very, very glad I looked again before bringing it up. It also means that SS DID buy the ticket himself, which is great news.
To be fair to me, 2016 was incredibly rough, with me covering 80% of our bills and household expenses or more, and DH did hide financial contributions to the skids from me. Not horribly...just $100 to SD here or paying for something for SS there...normally I wouldn't care at all or make him account for every cent. I'm not at all financially controlling and as long as bills are paid I don't care how DH chooses to spend. But he was making so little and not able to contribute to household bills...but he could pick up a power bill for his 20-year-old daughter?
Maybe he really has turned the corner now? I think he was depressed in 2016 about his lack of earning...and embarrassed, which made him try to hide things.