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Do people feel like I do or am I the only one out there

tryingtomakeit's picture

ok...I know I am not the only one out there, but sometimes I feel so alone. My sd is really getting to me. She has got to be one of the laziest people that I know.

My husband wants me to be like her best friend and do all this stuff with her and talk to her more and so on and so forth.....but when she stays at our house she is treated like royalty. She can sleep in to god knows how long and he still fixes her plate for her. It is like when she comes our lives have to stop.

I hate this anf I knowe i got myself into it and I dont need to be complaining...but I have to vent somewhere.

I do not even like being around her anymore. She has her moments...she can be sweet, but I have noticed that is just when she is wanting something.

My husband has not figured that part out yet. I just want to stand up and have got to be kidding me!


DaizyDuke's picture

I tried to explain this to my DH last week. He said he wished I would treat skids the way I treat our friends' daughter, who I will call "Kate" I told my DH that it is like comparing apples to oranges.

"Kate" loves our BS1, and will ask to see see him, babysit him etc and never asks for anything in return, even if I offer her money she won't take it.

Skids never ask about BS1, and when they are at the house, they do the 30 second "Hi" routine, and then ignore him the rest of the time they are there.

"Kate" doesn't call because she wants something (other than to visit)

Skids ONLY call when they want something (and it's not to visit.. it's sneakers, clothes, hairdo etc)

"Kate's" parents don't act like jerks. Kate's mother does not call whenever she feels like it and demand handouts/money.

Skids mothers are like the freaking plague, we just can't get rid of them, always begging on the outskirts of our happy little life for their free handouts from DH under the ruse that it's for skids.

"Kate" doesn't steal my clothes when she comes to visit (she is bigger than me, so no question about that)

SD13.5 stole at least 7 shirts from me this past summer (she is the same size as me, and I'm a very neat person, so not like they were misplaced... do the math)

I told my DH that maybe if skids and skids mothers acted like "Kate" that I would be more inclined to pursue a "relationship" with them. But as it is, I can't ever do anything right, there is always some drama whirling around when it comes to skids and I just choose to remove myself from that and focus on the good people in my life.

I hate the fact that these men think that just because they have kids that we are supposed to have this magical unconditional love for them and accept that we are the mom and not the mom depending on what is convenient for everyone at the time. BLAH

nononsense's picture

Welcome to my world. Its like they have not balls when it comes to their girls. What they cant see is they are doing more damage to these girls by catering and coddling them. It makes me want to throw up.

alwaysanxious's picture

yes yes yes. SD16 sleeps until noon, 1pm, 2pm. Stays up all night. Laaaaaazy. She didn't even get out of bed last saturday to spend time with her dad for the day even after he said he'd take her shopping. That's when you know the kid is spoiled, she knows he'll take her shopping anytime.

My disengaging has helped because he has to deal with her on her own. He complains about her (I no longer get involved in the complaining, that backfires) and I don't say a word. I feel like she uses SO too, but he doesn't see it that way.

hismineandours's picture

Dang! Back when my ss13 still visited I only WISH he would've slept til 1 or 2pm. The little fart likes to get up at 6am-and do stuff he's not supposed to. My dh wouldnt get up as it never crossed his mind that his prince might be up to no good-so I was spending MY every other weekend up at 6am each day to keep an eye on him. Count your blessings. Perhaps you can arrange to leave the house before she awakens and you can manage a whole entire day without seeing her.