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Hmmm how does this sound to you guys?

Thetis's picture

So Dh and Bm need to have a talk. They have needed to have this talk about boundaries and expectations for the last three years. So dh finally agrees to call and set it up.

Here is his plan:

Dh will meet Bm at an elementary school park at 5-530pm on Monday. She is bringing the 4 year old child with her.

The talk:
They hope to discuss boundaries, like the bday party, and expectations, like the fact that Dh WILL NOT say yes to anything without talking to me about it. And other such issues.

Dh believes that having the (attention seeking) child present he can prevent BM from freaking out and causing a scene. Worse case scenario she has to literally run away to avoid making a plan for an ACTUAL sit down talk.

This is 6 days before the bday party that we are being threatened about.


Trying_To_Move_Forward_'s picture

I kinda know how you feel. My DH has a BM. We just recently joined their life. She knows me and supposedly like me but she is shady. She tried to have him in check. Its like he is a father to your child not your HUSBAND. My DH has tried talking to her about her attitude among other things. It only lasts for a short time. Deep down they are still jealous and miserable so they want you to be. Our BM is drama filled. She changes the rules in the middle of the game. So to sum it up...don't get your hopes up to high. My DH and I have been nothing but nice, respectful and patient and it doesn't seem to matter. Good luck sweetie! If it works let me know. Maybe you can give me pointers Wink

Pantera's picture

Meeting together at a public place may give the child the wrong idea and may create some false hope. The child should not be present while the parents are trying to work problems out. I don't know if its such a good idea.

stormabruin's picture

I agree with the others in that I don't believe the child should be there when this conversation happens. In any discussion about boundaries & expectations of one another, both parties need to be able to express their feelings & thoughts freely with the other. If the child is being "placed" there to keep BM from expressing what he anticipates she will express, the child is being used for his benefit. If BM needs to flip out in order to reach a point of being able to discuss boundaries, let her flip. I agree the conversation needs to take place, but I believe it's wrong to have the child there for it.

Thetis's picture

I don`t know how much is going to be accomplished. However Dh does know this little bitch better then I do. I really hope they can talk things out because really me and Dh have more important things to worry about other then being forced to go to a birthday party with bm`s family.
And you can call me stubborn or evil or whatever but no way in hell will I bend to a threat like that. Its like emotional terrorism. Not a chance.

" I do NOT negociate with terrorists!" Blum 3