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Yesterday when I got home from work.....

tankh21's picture

So yesterday when I got home skids were slamming doors. DH tells both of them to go take a bath. YSS is arguing with DH I just walk right on by and ignore both of them. Disnengagement is getting easier! DH asked me if I wanted to talk. I told him that we could talk about things when the skids go back to BM's this coming Sunday. He said ok and went to the kitchen because the skids were whining that they were hungry. DH made sausage for them. I didn't bother to tell him to clean up the mess. He just cleaned it on his own maybe because he thought he would get an earful from me but I didn't say a word. Thank you guys for all your support and advice. I know that I do not say that enough!


ESMOD's picture

Sometimes when we give people the space... they do the right thing.  Not always.. but sometimes lol.  It may not be easy to walk past as he struggles or as the kids act up and he doesn't handle it the way you might..but if you remind yourself that he needs to learn how to make it work... and that the world will continue spinning...even if he loads the dishwasher wrong, then you can take back some peace in your home.

frustrated mom and stepmom's picture

I've got 2 adult SD's away from my home and one adult SS in my home BUT NOT FOR LONG.  I feel like making one of those count down calendars and marking an X as the days go by to August 15th when he moves out. He's 20 and going to college and NOT coming back here.  But I don't have any fun markers so I will have to just rejoice daily in my head Lol Keep disengaging and if youre as surprisingly lucky as I was, your marriage will benefit!! They are adults we don't need to be friends. 

Cover1W's picture

Keeping my mouth shut is the most difficult part of it.

But it works!  You'll learn and it'll get easier and easier.

Good job on your first time, now repeat it.  It will likely get worse before it gets better.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Once you take yourself out of the equation and the parent is dealing with his kids himself, usually he wakes up and actually sees for himself what they're really like. THEN- sometimes- they actually step up and make changes. Good luck, and stay strong!