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Haven't written in awhile....

tankh21's picture

So we are supposed to talk to the skids today about bed times and the TV will go off at 10 pm on school nights no matter what. No sleeping on the couch at all. DH asked me last night why the remotes were in our room. Well skids didn't come over last Thursday night so we didn't get a chance to talk to them because DH was sick and I refused to go pick them up for him. I told him that the remotes have been in our room since last week. He said well what do we need to talk to them about? REALLY!!! So pretty much he doesn't care and just is doing it to shut me up.

Well I want to feel comfortable in my own home since my DH really doesn't care what his kids do so whether he wants to tell them or not I will. If I find the kid still up with the TV on I will just take the remotes away. The cable is is my name so I can do what I want with it. Sleeping on the couch. I will make as much noise as I want so YSS will be uncomfortable and go to his room until he gets the point. I am done trying to fight this battle and DH just flat out doesn't care.

On another note....Does anyone else here have an allowance that they get for the month for their personal spending? DH thinks that we should each get $250 to spend every month for personal spending. Well I just recently got a raise so I tried to talk to him about it and asked him if it was ok if I got $350 for my personal spending money and he told me no.

I don't really know what to do in this situation. Would it be better to separate everything and just tell him we are going to keep everything separate from now on?

Comments

Acratopotes's picture

If you have separate finances, you do with your money what ever you want after paying house hold expenses.
No need to ask DH's authorization on this. He can suck an egg for all you care.

If you have combined finances, simply split it. No man will tel me what I can and can not do with my money. It's actually very simple, you can not tell him what to do or not to do with his children so he better keep his mouth shut about your money

I love dogs's picture

On that note, I can foresee resentment building up. No, he cannot tell you what to do with your money if the bills are paid. He still is trying to shut you up about the couch hog. He could care less where skid sleeps.

Spend the extra $100 if you want. That $100 can also to into a vacation fund or a big ticket item you've been wanting to buy.

Do what feels right but I know first hand that parents will always protect their kids and no one wants to budge on what they think should be done or not done.

tankh21's picture

We have everything jointly and he always asks me. I thought it would be disrespectful if I just took money out of the account with telling him.

hereiam's picture

Oh, okay. But now, he is telling you, no, that you cannot spend your own money. That would just not sit well with me.

DH and I have separate accounts. We both contribute to the bills but we do not have a joint account.

Another way that some do it, is to have a joint account for household stuff, including bills, but each have their own separate account, too.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Are the bills paid? If so, why can you not spend YOUR money??? My DH and I do not have combined finances. What's left after paying bills is his money and my money. If he wants a $500 power tool, it's his money to spend. If I want a new sewing machine, I'm buying it. You should be able to spend another $100 a month, if you so desire.

tankh21's picture

I am ok with being the bad guy after all I am the outsider. I just want to have freedom in my own house. I want the skids to be comfortable of course but, they are kids afterall just because you let a puppy roam around my house doesn't mean that I will let it pee everywhere.

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's picture

I took the advice of the people here and separated our banking. Best thing I ever did. I make considerably more than DH but I was unable to fund my 401k or my kids college account because I was spending all my money on skid stuff.

ESMOD's picture

Separate your finances. It doesn't mean you don't share bills...just split them and have one joint acct to pay them from. The rest of your money stays separate