DH all of the sudden trying to teach the skids responsibilty RIGHT!!!
All of the sudden DH wants to put the skids to work to "help" him on projects on the weekends. Which is totally fine with me because then they aren't bothering me.
But my mind is thinking that you don't make them actually work or do something until it's something you need "help" with however you don't want to discipline them on simple things at home?
He said that he is teaching them responsibility. I told him well if you want to teach your kids responsibility why don't you start with the things at home so I am not always the bad guy. He said well you make a big deal out of things that I don't think is a big deal.
The things that matter to me are cleaning up after yourself. Keeping your room clean. Going to bed at a decent hour. Be respectful toward adults. Sleeping in your own bed. These are simple things that kids should be doing any way.
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My DH felt the effects of not
My DH felt the effects of not disciplining SS. He had today off, SS is on school term so he tried to spend time with him. Got nothing but resistance and mouth all day. I just nodded politely in agreement and though to myself SS wouldn't dare do half the stuff he did to DH to me. Call me the bad guy but I don't put up with bratty b.s.
They just never learn...
Yep...I guess these kids know
Yep...I guess these kids know who they can get away with stuff and who they can't. What is sad is it's the actual parents that let them get away with things.
The Only Time DH
will do anything to discipline/train their own spawn is when the negative behaviour affects them DIRECTLY. You have to start to think creatively on how to re-direct the negative behaviour so that it impacts DH. If it's a problem for SM, it's a non-issue as far as the guilty daddy is concerned.
I had to laugh when Chef finally decided to institute a few teensy specks of rules after my cajoling had been ruled "too strict/too mean/ they're JUST kids!" This was ONLY after it started to cramp HIS style and soon after they all conspired with the Girhippo to lie up a storm on the fake-o CPS report. That was when he FINALLY started to see the light leaks through his closed tight eyelids after over three years of HORRENDOUS behaviour!!!
Boy did it backfire in his face!!!
Does DH have a den/sanctuary with any valuables that skid can do gymnastics in? Are there any fav foods of DH's that skids can get into and devour completely? You get the picture. Meanwhile all we can do as SMs is disengage, nod and say MMM HMMM and when DH slooooooooowwwwwly starts to bitch about the monsters he and the BM created, just put a sympathetic expression on your face and quickly change the subject!
I do laugh and laugh when DH
I do laugh and laugh when DH tells me that SD14 wants more responsibility or he's going to help her get a job or whatever. It's hilarious.
Oh yeah
I remember Chef saying that his skids were "good helpers." BULLSHIT!! MY bios were good helpers. They literally worked on our rental property at a very young age. They knew how to clean yards, mow lawns, prep rooms for painting and cut in.
His kids are now late teens early twenties and they are as useful as a cat flap in an elephant house. Lazy as hell the only reason they do work part time jobs is to prop up either their drug habit or the fact that the Girhippo pockets all the CS money.
It doesn't help when both
It doesn't help when both parents baby their kids because they think that they don't have to respect anyone.
Responsiblity is
Responsiblity is responsibility, it’s not about specific things. You are either a responsible person or you’re not.
A boss isn’t going to care if the employees bed is made at home or if they stay up all night gaming. They are going to care if the files are a mess and they are falling asleep at their desk. Chances are, if you can’t take care of yourself and your home, you won’t be able to do much at a job.
So what if you care about things that DH doesn’t. He should still be teaching his kids basic life responsibilities.
Pffft.. He doesn't want to
Pffft.. He doesn't want to teach them responsibility.. he wants to get out of doing some of the hard labor. lol.
Or, the project is something kind of "cool" and he wants to share that fun with his kids. It really isn't about whether they learn responsibility or not.. dad is getting something out of it.
But, maybe a side benefit for you is they will be tired and leave you alone.
ps. about the steak. I think at that age, my parents were still making my brother and I split a meal at a restaurant. Certainly the 10 year old would be eating off the child's menu.. any backtalk about a 10 oz steak would have been met with me ordering them the chicken nugget plate off the child's menu. I would then let them know that they will be happy in the future to select a modest meal.. or otherwise, I will select for them.
Some of these men are totally
Some of these men are totally blind to their injurious behavior towards their kids. And they are injuring them by not teaching basic responsiblities that fit societal norms. I’ve heard the bullshit response, "I AM teaching her what’s important TO ME." But idiot doesn’t see that what’s important to him as opposed to what’s important to being a productive member of society are polar opposites.
These men are raising entitled little snowflakes (no political connotation!) that are going to expect the world to bow at their feet. And they’ll need a safe place to go on their mental health sick day when they try and pull this shit at the Quickie Mart, which is the only place that’ll hire them because they won’t even know how to act during an interview.