i have been replaced.

So i admit i have spied on fb on ex. Tonight he has that he is a relationship with some girl he went to highschool with.

Looks like he started seeing her in may. She has 3 kids and is not pretty. It hurts to see him posting that he is the luckiest man in the world.

I am going to be a crazy bm, i dont want him bringing some woman who he has lied to about me around my child.

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This, x 1000. Sweet T, you

This, x 1000.

Sweet T, you don't know me on here, but I've been following your posts for a while. So many times I've been tempted to post encouragement to you but something always stopped me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you got roped in by a person like your ex.

Everything I've read about him that you've written indicates that this is not a good man. He is abusive and manipulative. I wouldn't envy any woman who got suckered in by him. And rest assured, unless this new woman is a real ball-buster or dysfunctional in her own right, he will likely do the same process with her that you went through. Be glad you are free of living with him. But don't give him any room to manipulate you any more -- not ever. No leeway in legal things. No access to your personal life. Take your pain and turn it into proactive works for your child.

You have to be wary of a person who jumps from relationship to relationship quickly. The fabricated "love" or seeming intensity of a new relationship. Even if they knew each other in high school. And don't take this as a challenge to prove that you are not lonely by falling in quick with another man, either. Love isn't a contest or a tool to prove how awesome we are. And don't torture yourself with what is put on Facebook. People like him use it as a weapon, just like so many of the BMs we write about on here do. He knows you are watching him, and likely she does too. Everything they put on there will be for your viewing eyes, carefully crafted to slide a knife in you whenever they can.

Wishing you nothing but strength in this difficult time. Take care and be smart.

Thanks,i appreciate it! I

Thanks,i appreciate it! I need to . Not look. I know he doesn't realize i keep tabs. When we spoke on Tuesday he mentioned unfriending me so i could see what he does and he couldn't see mine. Thing is mine is private his is not.

Sweet T, the fact he brought

Sweet T, the fact he brought it up shows you he knows you keep tabs. I'm going to say "don't be naive" with the absolute best intentions and tone I can use without sounding like a know it all, okay? Keeping tabs on the internet is what people do these days. Maybe not all, but probably more than who would admit it.

Trust me, he knows you're watching. He doesn't care that you're hurting but he does care that he can hurt you.

If I feel like I can't

If I feel like I can't control myself from snooping on FB and don't want to be sucked into the drama of someone else's life, I will block them just so nothing comes up that they have commented on or whatever. I know it is just as easy to UNblock someone but for whatever reason, our minds don't seem to go there immediately.

However, I do understand that you feel you can have a heads-up if you keep tabs. That's the way I was with BM when she was still a thorn in our sides.

At least she's not cute.

At least she's not cute. Please don't join the ranks of the crazy BM's! We need you on our team.

I texted bm and she learned

I texted bm and she learned of it today from the receptionist at her office. She said it hurt when he moved on from her so fast and got on match. I apologized if i hd hurt her.she said that it didnt because she knew it was him.

Thanks, i know Your right. He

Thanks, i know Your right. He is going to flaunt it to me. He was emailing about wanting to come to bs swim lessons that i pay for. The next is on Monday. ..we get divorced in the morning and i do not want him there with me that night.

I was thinking the same thing

I was thinking the same thing (about warning her) but you can't really.

Even with the best intentions - she will be in that rose coloured glasses stage, and have swallowed his BS hook line and sinker, so you will just come off sounding like the lunatic he has most likely painted you as.

As Dtz said - you have not been replaced - YOU moved on. He has just lined up his next victim, and while we can all only watch on in horror and feel pity for HER - YOU are moving on to better things.

(I do understand though how you feel - I instigated the divorce from my ex, and did not want anything to do with him etc, but finding out he was on a dating site 2 weeks after we split up and had met "the love of his life" within a month DID hurt... they are as we speak off in Italy getting married...)

No you can never warn them.

No you can never warn them. It is a waste of time and effort. I tried to warn my own COUSIN about my ex-BF to no avail. She ended up getting crabs from him, I do believe.

Bm said she thought of doing

Bm said she thought of doing it. It would only backfire.

You guys are right and i

You guys are right and i think the shock is wearing off. I knew it was coming. I had therapy today and she thought and i do too that i am doing well.

Positive news bs and i are taking a trip to California the last week of August. My bil has tons of frequent flyeriles and bought us tickets. I am going to use some of my stash and make this an amazing vacation for my son.

Change the way you talk

Change the way you talk inside your head.
He hasn't moved on, you've had a lucky escape.
It sounds silly but I was advised to do it years ago and it made the WORLD of difference.
Many years ago during a heartbreakingly horrible situation, I was stuck in a loop on how incredibly cold.... I mean ICY, my partner at the time was.
I knew I couldn't stay with him but I was deathly afraid to go.
I was scared to be "alone" That's when I was told to change the way I talk to myself.
Instead I had to "make myself one step closer to finding the RIGHT person."
I know it sounds trite Because thats exactly what I thought. Give me a break you have no idea what's going on... but it worked

Block him on FB and her too,

Block him on FB and her too, seeing that will keep you upset. Think of it this way, when you are little your Mother teaches you to give your used toys to the less fortunate. Use that thinking now. Remember everything that you didn't like about him, everything that he did to you and feel sorry for what the new woman will deal with out of him.

Omg i just realized why he

Omg i just realized why he wanted to swap my golf clubs for the snowblower, he was going to. Give them to her!

Wtf, who gives their wives clubs to their girlfriend.

Someone who's not worthy of

Someone who's not worthy of you!!!

Or my damned clubs. I may

Or my damned clubs.

I may start lessons.

Now that you've got both feet

Now that you've got both feet out the door, you must feel like you're watching a soap opera or something!

Lucky escape for sure!

Pls block his FB. YOu are

Pls block his FB. YOu are only hurting yourself in keeping up with what he is doing. Yes, the temptation to spy on him is great but its not worth it. YOu dont want him so let him go, leave him to someone who will discover on her own who he is.

Take care of yourself and leave his FB alone.

wondered about these alleged

wondered about these alleged arabs as well

I wanted to post on your last

I wanted to post on your last post, but I didn't have time.

One thing a lot of women don't realize is how/when men usually grieve a breakup. Women usually start the grieving process before the breakup if they know it is coming) and grieve the relationship right away. Men usually "move on" right away, and grieve the relationship months, sometimes years later. Right when you are over it and all of that, he will probably start grieving.

I agree with the others on not stalking him, although sometimes you feel like you have to with kids involved. Try to remember his crap, his "moving on" has nothing to do with you or the type of person/wife/mother you are, it is all him needing someone or something to stroke his ego. He can't be alone because then he'd really have to take a good look at who he is. If you can't be alone with him, do you think he can be alone with himself?

You're going to have a good life, and you are going to be able to show your son how to be a good man and how to treat women and other people in general. Enjoy your trip and try to disengage from the drama (I'd probably back off on talking to BM too, because that will just keep you both in the drama frame of mind).

Well I am going to go buy me

Well I am going to go buy me a stunning outfit to wear to court on Monday. I am also getting a pedicure this weekend as well

I have lost about 21 lbs so far and am am really going to start trying to loose another 50. I was rocking hot when we met and he wore me down. This new girlfriend ( who he is telling people he is her love slave...they are 40 for pete's sakes who acts like this on social media) looks to be a big girl and seems to have lost some weight recently. Just wait a year of life with him.

She isn't very pretty and has a low level job... not sure how that will work for him because BM1 & I have had good jobs and made more than him. It will be hard to spend her money.

I think what is hard is he is like manic giddy and I remeber him being this way with me. That is who I fell in love with, not the lazy abusive slug.

I actually feel much better today, I am just dreading my child being exposed to this and I don't want him having two homes, 1/2 brothers, step brothers... I just don't want it. ( probably not what any of us on here want to hear, from someone who is just a BM now)

Greasy love slave lol. No she

Greasy love slave lol. No she is just a manly big girl with bad teeth. I may be festivly plump for now but I am pretty and girly even if I am 6 years older.

I worry that he has told her horrible lies and she will be difficult with me. I am soooo glad that I fought so hard for the limited time. I am pretty sure that for his 1 week of vacation they will be a little family and my son will spend 10 days with her. Good news is she has her own kids so hopefully she won't need to try and mother mine.

These types of men move on so

These types of men move on so fast because they cannot make it on their own, emotionally.

It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and his own dysfunction.

You are a strong woman, he is a weak man.

Sure, he's going to tell her how much of a victim he is and how mean you are and blah, blah, blah. My husband's ex does that with every guy she gets with. They eventually find out that she is the one who is nuts and abusive.

I know it's going to be hard but don't become one of THOSE BMs. Stay strong and prove him wrong.

"I am going to be a crazy BM.

"I am going to be a crazy BM. I don't want him bringing some woman who he has lied to about me around my child."
This doesn't make you crazy a BM. What you're feeling is normal and justified.

We know from reading here, that there are SMs who hate SKs just because they exist. That along with the lies your husband is telling, MAY impact the way the girlfriend treats and/or feels about your child.

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