It turns out that the long chat DH ended up having with the kids this weekend was because SS and I were in the kitchen and I told him something and when I turned my back he stuck his tongue out at what I said (not directly at me, but in response to what I had said) and DH saw him do it (through a glass door from the patio)!!

To be honest, I would have NEVER expected that from SS11. Maybe SD12, but not SS. He's never really been disrespectful or unkind, but there have been signs I guess. A couple mean stares when told to do a chore and the tattling to his mom who in return said I was treating him like a slave because he once had to wash a pot. I guess though, he reaching the turning point from nice kid, to tween.

Anyway DH caught him and held him outside talking. Then SD pushed herself into the conversation probably in order to defend her bro, and to ensure she knew what was going on.

Another problem they have is with me telling them to do anything in our house because it seems to them like I am trying to replace their mom. But they never complain if I wash their clothes and cook them food and clean up after them and help them with stuff they need help with.

Also, DH and I took them to the dentist at my insistence. SD had a chipped tooth since she was a kid, and she told me her parents didn't take her to get it fixed since they did not have any money. (Yeah right, they had a big house and fancy cars and lots of nice stuff, but health was simply not a priority as it is for me). Anyway, the kids are concerned because I get to go to the dentist but their mom doesn't have insurance so she can't go get her check up. They're angry because their dad is no longer taking care of their mom, he's taking care of me instead.

Funnily enough, they're never angry when mom has something and dad doesn't, they probably think he deserves to go without. I wonder where they get that notion from??

They told him very frankly that they don't want to come visit him, there's the rules/chores, there's me, there's a dad that doesn't have a lot of money to spend on them, they have no friends where we live (they barely come out the house so there's no way they'll actually make any friends). Apparently the times they do come to visit him are because their mom doesn't want them - after all, who doesn't like having every weekend free to do whatever they want to do?