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No I won't take SD to the dentist!

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

BM is such a complete b****! I am furious. I just paid out of pocket to have a tooth pulled for SD10. SD10's gums are infected so he gives her antibiotics and talks to her about brushing her teeth. She tells him that their mom refuses to buy toothbrushes at her house because her little sister always hides them. So the dentist actually gave her 5 toothbrushes, one for her and one for each of her siblings. DH had the SDs step out of the room and he explained the situation to the dentist. And the dentist was furious. He offered to talk to BM. He wanted to explain that SD10's tooth is infected and that the infection is not healthy. DH gave him BM's number. He did pull one tooth. However, the dentist said that another tooth can be saved by doing a root canal. He recommends that because it is an adult molar. He can't get SD10 in for another appointment before she leaves to go back to BM. So DH called the SD's dentist in her home state. She hasn't been there in about 3 years because BM refuses to take her kids to the dentist. But, we had the x-rays and info from the dentist in our state sent to the dentist in the home state. The dentist says he will schedule her for a long appointment so he can take a look at the tooth and give her the root canal. DH calls BM and asks her to please take SD10 to the dentist in her state. He explains that it is the same dentist that she picked a few years ago. He also tells her that he has already sorted it out so the dentist knows that any out-of-pocket costs go to him. Instead of being grateful, BM's response, "I am not taking her to the dentist! I didn't set any of this up. If you want her to go, make a trip here and take her."

WTH??? What kind of soul-sucking asshole does that to their own kid? I am so angry that I could scream! We are paying for this. We are not asking her to pay a dime for it. And, her kid is always in pain. What kind of mother doesn't care that their child is crying and refusing to eat? It's ridiculous.


CompletelyPuzzled's picture

And just a side note, DH didn't actually schedule the appointment. He asked BM to call in and schedule on a day of her choosing. He also offered to reimburse her for the gas cost to drive SD10 to the doctor. She still refused.

blueorblackink's picture

I would rather saw my own head off with a butter knife than have a toothache. What a monster to make her child suffer like that. I wonder if you can make her?

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

You'd think we could. It was written in the last draft of the C/O that she has to take them to the dentist and have any recommended work done. And, DH would pick up any out of pocket costs. But its been 8 months and she refuses to do it. DH and I discussed it. We will drive the 16 hours to take her to the dentist if that is what it takes!

tryingmom's picture

You answered your question.....soul-sucking asshole. I'll add controlling and lazy?

Sorry your SD is going through this. Dental health is important!

Gabriels Mom's picture

Cuntalotaups is like this. When DH told her how much her portion of SS's braces were she refused to pay. It's not even that bad we have good insurance. Her portion would be 400 down and 60.00 per month for 18 months. (that's half) But she found the 900.00 to get her wisdom teeth pulled. She NEVER makes SS brush his teeth. I told DH we aren't spending one dime on braces until I get a good report from the hygienist. December will be his third cleaning since the orthodontic evaluation IF she tells me she doesn't have to do any scaling and he's been taking care of his teeth then we'll have the braces put on. We'll pay the whole freaking thing and then add it to the pile of crap BM owes us and when it gets to be 10000.00 or worth our time to take her dumbass to court we will go after her for it.

arjuna79's picture

oh. my own "mother" did this to me. No dental hygiene routines for any of the four of us kids, I think I was 9 or 10 when somebody shamed her into taking us to the dentist. Too late for one of my permanent molars, tho. She completely did not care.

misSTEP's picture

Send her a certified letter or an email. Try to see if she will say the same thing in writing. If so, back to court for medical neglect.

queenofthedamned's picture

I hate this woman for you. I've had many dental problems over the years (not from lack of care, just bad genes) and the pain of an infected tooth can be agonizing, not to mention potentially deadly if the infection travels to the bloodstream or brain. What a horrible cunt.

Cadence's picture

Can't you make a CPS report? With the outrage of a medical professional on your side, and her refusal to take the kids to the dentist, it's likely to be taken seriously. This is clear negligence on her part and she is hurting the child.

I hope your DH starts communicating with this BM only in writing, so you always have proof of what she does and does not say. It's very naive to discuss anything over the phone with a high conflict BM like this, because you are left with zero proof of the conversation.

misSTEP's picture

^^^THIS^^^ The second paragraph is spot ON. Always be looking for ways to DOCUMENT.

DarkStar's picture

My SO's brother and SIL have 4 boys, each of them born into welfare. Mom and Dad could afford their video games and their cigarettes, but wouldn't take the boys to see a dentist. She also would send each baby to bed with a sippy cup full of juice. When the 3rd boy's baby teeth began to rot and after he screamed for about 3 days in a row, they finally took him to a dentist. The dentist said that 8 teeth needed to be pulled. They refused and tried to leave, but the dentist said he would call CPS if they did that.

Crappy parents suck

WTF...REALLY's picture

What an exceptionally horrible BM. Poor kid. The pain she must be in. Get her away from that cu*nt of a person. Worthless woman has no business making babies. You and dh must be stressed to no end. I feel for you two.