You are here

BM claimed SD on her taxes, divorce papers say DH is supposed to.

stepmom31's picture

So our tax return was rejected because BM claimed SD. According to the divorce decree, DH claims SD and BM claims SS each year.

She says she didn't know. DH allowed her to claim SD in 2011 (when she kicked a fuss because we had a baby and so had more dependents - bad idea, and DH and I fought terribly about this because he did it and he knew I didn't agree to it - but it happened), the next year we claimed SD as normal. This year, she is saying she thought last year was just a one off thing and that DH agreed to let her claim SD each year because DH has more dependents (this, after she had another kid too, so they have equal amount of kids to claim, but she is counting me as extra for DH and she doesn't have a husband). I'm outraged, but if I really think about it, I'm not surprised.

She won't refile. She is willing to forgo 1 CS check (out of the 2 this month) to "help us out" (can you believe the nerve?? she wants to "help us out" because she probably got a big fat refund check already and she knows what she did was wrong) but won't commit to it in writing without seeing our tax documents or bank statement showing we paid the IRS, and won't agree in writing to considering the CS this month as paid in full with only 1 check, which to me means she can come back anytime and take DH back to court for CS owed and unpaid.

The one CS check won't even cover half of what we now owe the IRS. We'd have to use up our savings for the rest. I want to paper file claiming SD and let the IRS deal with it. DH wants to do this deal with her - this no assurances deal :jawdrop:

She did threaten to take DH back to court - routine threat - and of course, the kids are no longer coming this weekend.

I am so furious, especially at DH, because he has been unable to negotiate getting any agreement in writing. I am furious that she gets away with no consequences. I am furious to be put in this position of DH giving her the upper hand. He says she could go to jail if IRS investigates and finds that she purposefully broke the law. Jeez, so let her go to jail, or pay the fines.

Honestly, I don't know what to do. Both taxes and CS are due, and we have never missed or been late with a CS payment in 5 years, but we don't have $ for both. Sad

Comments

Lalena75's picture

The IRS doesn't care what a CO says, all it wants is Proof of whoever had the dependent more than 50% of the time and paid more than 50% of their living expenses. That's it. If you can prove it paper file let the IRS audit both and then she may owe her refund IF you can prove those 2 facts. CO be damned as far as the IRS goes.

stepmom31's picture

Does CS count as paying for living expenses? I know, stupid question, but have to verify.

The kids don't live with us, so the only way we can claim SD is by the Rules for Divorced Parents.

stepmom31's picture

She refused to say it in an email, she won't write a letter.

What happens if she doesn't do the ammended return?

itsmylifetoo's picture

We had this type of an issue last tax season...dh was supposed to claim one of the two girls she claimed both saying she deserved it. I was livid and had contributed to child care which we couldnt claim since we didnt have one of his girls on his dependents. I found out that we could take her to court for being contempt of the cs. Bm would have to file an amendment for taxes taking the child off of her claim.

Gabriels Mom's picture

Do what Dtzy said. We did. It was AWESOME! LOL okay that's really mean. But BM is always doing that sort of thing. We brought the CO AND receipts for daycare, clothes, school fees, insurance, etc and let them do an audit; she was livid and we laughed and laughed about it. She hasn't tried that again....

zerostepdrama's picture

You need to have the IRS audit it. Otherwise she is going to keep doing it every year and you are going to keep getting screwed.

And seriously even if you have 4 more kids, do not let her claim SD again based off of that. That was stupid of your DH to agree to anyways. It doesn't matter how many kids you guys have together, that has nothing to do with a CO stating that he claims SD.

stepmom31's picture

OP here: DHs court order has no provision, it says "Mother claims SS each year and Father claims SD each year on taxes", and it was done before 2009. So I think DH is ok to claim.

The problem is that BM may not choose to ammend hers and rather let it go on and on. Heck even if she ammended and we paid it for her, I'm sure it will be less than what we have to pay, but she doesn't care of course.

So to leave her as a wild card when the IRS investigates or leave a CS unpaid wild card for her to have that over us?

Honestly, I choose none. I'm for paying her CS, filing paper now and doing the 1040x to ammend if she chooses not to, we should be able to save some $ by then. I just need to convince DH somehow.

It is truly amazing the way she talks about DH like some deadbeat dad who doesn't pay CS and doesn't want to see his kids and as if she's doing it all on her own. Wonder what her life would be like if DH was an actual deadbeat...

stepmom31's picture

HMMM... with SD - small refund... minimal..... without SD we have to pay over $1K