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DH took our kid into his Ex-In Laws House at their Party

stepmom31's picture

I felt in my gut that something like this would happen, one day, some day. I just hoped it wouldn't.

I asked DH to take our kids with him when he went to drop SKids back on Sun, so that I can finish up some stuff at home. He was dropping them back at BM's parents because they were celebrating some birthdays there. I usually always go with him.

He left DD at his own parents place and took DS with him because he was sleeping in the car.

Usually, when I am with him for the drop backs, he doesn't come out of the car and if he does it's to hug Skids and say goodbye but not go in to house, because we had this issue in the beginning and I have asked him many times not to.

On Sun, from what I can figure (because he lied to me and said he didn't go in) is that he came out and spoke to the grandparents at the doorstep, but he eventually went in and perhaps even stayed a while and drank (alcohol) at the house. He then went to his parent's house and hung out and drank some more and came home almost drunk, with our 2 kids in the car, ate food (he had barely eaten all day) and passed out.

DS(who is only 3) told me he went inside and met uncles and aunties and hugged the Skid's baby sister (BM's baby).

I am furious. I feel so betrayed. I feel like I'm right back to the beginning of our marriage when he used to go inside when dropping back the kids and spend hours talking and drinking with BM. I feel like I cannot trust him again.

WE have spoken about this scenario so many times and I have always asked him to not go in - if the situation came up, he had said he would not.

I thought having the kids would at least be a deterrent to him going in the house too, and I simply cannot begin to imagine what happened for our son to be out of his carseat and in those people's house!!! DH has been gone on a business trip and so, we have not talked and he has not even tried to fully explain himself, neither has he tried to apologise (and he probably never will, not that it matters anyway).

If I had gone in the car, he would not have gone in. But trust is when your SPOUSE will behave exactly the same way as they would if you were with them, right? Trusting when you know it's not true is pure stupidity.

I honestly feel as if my marriage could now be over... I feel like I can live in the same house as him, but I will never 100% trust him again.
I will be gone on vacation in the summer (with our kids) and he will be here alone. I feel like he will be falling right back into BM's family when I am gone, given this precedent he has now set.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do...

Comments

Disneyfan's picture

He was driving drunk with your babies in the car. How can him hanging with BM and her family bother you more than him putting your kids in danger?

This doesn't make any sense. :?

oneoffour's picture

Sorry hun, I am with the others. Would it matter less if he was only at his parent's place and still drove home sloshed to the gills?

I think you are looking at the faux pas of taking your kids into ex ILs house because dealing with his drinking and driving is far too serious to consider.

IslandGal's picture

1) I would rip strips off DH for daring to drink and drive - ESPECIALLY with kids in the car! I would rain holy hell down on his dumb ass brain for doing that.

2) Sounds like the dick is still enamoured with his ex - tell him that if he can't remember that he is married to you and act accordingly, then he can go live with her.

HadEnoughx5's picture

I agree.

I don't think the real issue is BM and going inside the house. I think he saw an opportunity to go and drink, it didn't matter who was supplying the alcohol. People who are responsible adults would not drink and drive. But especially with their children in the car.

My mother was the watch dog on my Dad's drinking. If she was around, he watched his step. But when the cat was away, I was the kid in the car with a drunk driver. I was the kid waiting in the parking lot for Dad to come out of the package store or the bar.

Deal with the drinking/driving first, then the other issues.

misSTEP's picture

This man is selfish. Do you want such a man as a husband? Do you want him as a role model for your children?

ndc's picture