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What’s a “Disneyland dad”?

Stepmama2321's picture

What's your definition of a Disneyland dad? 
 

I see the term being used often. Curious if that's what I would describe my SO as when it pertains to my SD. 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Every visit with the kids is a day at Disneyland - always buying them stuff, doing fun things, with no rules or limits.

tog redux's picture

Kids have rules, bedtimes, take showers, and do chores. You don't do special, big fun things every weekend, you do them occasionally like most people do.  The kids join in with your weekend life and it's not all about them, and they don't get new toys every weekend.  But above all, they are parented and not allowed to run wild.

Stepmama2321's picture

My SD takes showers daily and the only chore is cleaning up after herself (which I believe is totally appropriate to be the only chore). But... no bedtime, which is a BIG issue for us. Pre-COVID, it was something fun every visit when our normal weekends consist of staying home and relaxing.

tog redux's picture

Right, shouldn't be big fun things every visit. I mean, maybe he rides bikes with her, or they go to a pool, or whatever, but not an amusement park every weekend, or a trip, or something expensive. He can spend time with her like he would if she lived with him full-time; play with her, have fun, but not something extravagant, and yes, a reasonable bedtime.

Gimlet's picture

My DH had 50/50 but I think the premise is similar, although I can see where with 4 days he would want to focus on quality time.

Children need to see both parents interacting normally with the world.  It's not good for them to get the impression that the world stops for them or that only one parent has a normal life.  It's harder with only 4 days, but there should be a balance of normal life (going to the grocery store, doing dishes), teaching appropriate skills (this is how you load the dishwasher), having limits set (this is how I expect you to behave) and quality time (playing games, going to the park, etc).

Stepmama2321's picture

I feel like my SO is just the fun dad, where they just do quality time things and he doesn't put much emphasis on parental duties. We don't work on schoolwork (since it's the weekend not a school day). I just don't know how to encourage him to do more REAL PARENTING things when it's such limited time as is? Stricter bedtime and maybe more educational activities like reading and board games? But she just looks at him as FUN dad.

JRI's picture

Lets say dad only gets them once a month:

Kids are jumping on the furniture.  Normal dad says cut it out.  Disney dad says nothing.

Supper is prepared, kids whine.  Normal dad says, then fix yourself a sandwich.  Disney dad either says, what sounds good? How about x? y? z?  Or says, thats ok, I'll take you out.

Kid misbehaves.  Normal dad says cut it out or ( consequences).  Disney dad says if you promise you won't do it again, I'll buy you x.

I could go on for days, have heard them all.  Lol.

Evil3's picture

I'd like to add that Disneyland Dads pretend they're blind. They allow their kids to disrespect the SM and often the dads will rip the SM's head off and shit down her throat if she dares say anything when the kid disrespects her.

Disneyland dads also put the child first. The SM gets lowered to child status and the kids are elevated to royal status.

There's a lot of justification on the Dads' part too. It's amazing what excuse they can come up with to justify why their poopsie committed a heinous act.

SloaneMichael's picture

This is dead on. I feel like the child in the household. All rules apply to me, and there are no rules for Skids

SloaneMichael's picture

This is dead on. I feel like the child in the household. All rules apply to me, and there are no rules for Skids

Stepmama2321's picture

I feel like mine is half Disneyland and half normal dad. He wouldn't allow disrespect to our belongings or me but does cater to her food needs (she is beyondddd picky) and buys her toys, candy, chips, special drinks, gas station trips everyyytime we have her. 

JRI's picture

Its a dad who wants to be seen as the popular, fun parent.  Its a whole pholosophy.

IamBackUW's picture

No rules

No chores

No discipline

Wasting money on wants

Trying to outdo the biomother.

missginger's picture

My SD16 is here tonight- He had to come to the pool with her after school. Why I have no idea. I was there with the neighborhood women( we have a community pool) having a good time. DH and SD came and just there under an umbrella with their clothes on but God forbid he left her home for a bit and came to swim with me. 
 

After dinner he had to watch tv with her, play darts, then play cards. He takes her out to eat every single Sat and Sunday she is here for lunch. He takes us all out to eat at least 5-6 out of the 10 nights a month she is here. It's almost 10pm and she's still up with her bedroom door open because God forbid he tells her when to go to bed or at least get in her room for the night (with the door closed) I came down after dinner to see her grab cookies to go eat on the living room chair. I bought new cream furniture for the living room in January.  I made a no eating in the living room rule. God forbid he backs me on that (and if I had said something to her he would have gotten pissed at me). He doesn't push her to do ANYTHING and let's her play stupid video games on her phone for hours. He is a Disney Dad

surprisestepmother's picture

He's a Disney uncle (sorry, but you are not a father when you meet the kid at age 6 and have them a max of 8 days a month). I'm okay with it as long as she stays out of my way. The tablet vortex keeps her quiet, and I don't make special meals or clean up after her.

The_Upgrade's picture

At the root of every Disneydad is the fear that if they aren't fun dad, no house rules dad, free gifts everyday dad, their kids won't love them and will choose not to visit anymore.

missginger's picture

THIS^^^^!!! My DH had admitted to me that he lived in fear of SD would not want to come stay with him. This was years ago when he first got divorced.  

Thisisnotus's picture

Letting SD17 use his new-ish  truck whenever she wants and her hitting a curb and ruining his rims.....and getting a scratch on the side of his trick on another occasion.....and he says nothing....not even phased....nada. I think he actually laughed like it was cute.

But our toddler colors on the wall and he is beside himself or I break something in the house......end of the world. Oh and I think I brushed up against the truck once with my purse and he gasped.

disney dad on crack over here.