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Dear Lord

Stepmama2321's picture

SD is already starting on the "I wonder how many presents I'll get this year for Christmas" comments *eyeroll*. Don't we know at 8 years old that is a rude thing to say? Oh, and with the limited interests you have, child, probably not very many...

You like your iPad and to watch YouTube on TV. You don't use your easel or craft supplies, even after claiming you love to be crafty. You don't use your scooter/bike (prob because you are too scared to take the training wheels off STILL) but ask for an electric scooter hmmmm. You don't want to play board games. You don't play with Barbies. I'm at a loss of what to get you when you litterally don't LIKE anything.... 

Last year, immediately after opening all of her presents, she asked "how much did all of this cost?" At the time, I wasn't sure if she was amazed at all the gifts or disappointed it wasn't enough because she said it with no emotion. Now, it's clear it wasn't enough for her. Weird, your mom does the bare minimum and we go all out.... 

Comments

JRI's picture

I would (try to) ignore all those remarks.  Just do what you're going to do and remind yourself these remarks are coming from an immature person.  Your DH should probably be concerned about an entitled, materialistic attitude but thats his problem, right?

ntm's picture

Let her know it's one less every time she brings it up. 

Left out mama's picture

We did something similar to this. My SD once said (before Santa came but there were some presents under the tree). She said "there are only seven presents for me. Somebody in my family did not do a good job shopping for me." We told her the next time a comment like that came out of her mouth she was going to pick out one of her presents and she was going to give it to charity"

Christmas is always a big deal for kids. I think sometimes the anticipation and excitement is to much for them and they lose their minds and self control

Stepmama2321's picture

I think you're right that the excitement drives them to loose their minds! All day yesterday, "I wonder how much candy we'll get". Not taking it all too harshly but just blows me away of her lack of idk what to call it, maybe social manners? She doesn't usually great me or DD with a "hey!" when she comes over just spouts off what she's doing, didn't say "Trick or Treat" and "thank you", hardly says "thank you" when people give her gifts. Idk she's just a lot different than how I was raised to have manners that are just instinctual. SO does have to remind her of using the manners but.... she's 8! Isn't it time to just KNOW what social norms are.

JRI's picture

Maybe this would be a good girl to have a giving project for others.  Perhaps a discussion of other 8 yr olds who hardly have food and what she could do (with your help, of course).  Im sure others will have good ideas.  She seems like she neefs to see beyond herself and the holiday season is a perfect time.

Cover1W's picture

And that's when I stopped buying much of anything for OSD for Xmas and told DH exactly why.

Stepmama2321's picture

Yup, will be doing a very small Christmas this year. Christmas isn't even about the gifts to me! My parents were over the top and spoiled my sisters and I every year and still, the best parts of the season was all the other little things leading up to Christmas! Cutting down a tree or picking one out, the snow (if we got any that year) the time spent with family, baking cookies, puzzles. I mean so many little traditions that even when I was young, is what I cared about most. I guess we'll just start implementing how that is the most special part of all not the gifts because I'm not sure she has many traditions like that at her BM

Cover1W's picture

Yes it's the traditions you remember not the gifts.

I first tried an Xmas list someone mentioned here; something you want, something you need, something for fun and something you'd read.

They literally asked "Why?" WTF?

So I only got them one Gift cert ($20) to a store they liked) and one nice thing, like a soft blanket or PJs. Socking stuffers I helped DH with...mostly candy, small things like fun face wash and soaps. 

Now OSD is gone there's only YSD. She doesn't spend money or want/ask for anything so I don't give $ at all. I'll likely do PJs again this year for her. Maybe a new blanket (I need to check see if she took her old one to BMs.... that's another problem, things bought for our home ending up at BMs). I have no idea what else to get her. She's the opposite of greedy which is also a problem.

Stepmama2321's picture

I like that idea as well! 
oh my! Can't believe they'd ask why! I'd say nvm, nothing it is. 
I'm a SAHM so SO works but it's our money and he's not a great gift giver, waits till the last minute so typically I do the shopping. But it's frustrating when she asks for things just to have them because she doesn't use any of the items while she's here. Yup, I had an issue with things going back to BMs the first Christmas and birthday, only to never see her wear the name brand items I purchased for her, instead she'd bring gross clothes to wear. I stopped sending stuff over there, even though that means she'll wear these clothes only a handful of times. 

Wilhelm's picture

The answer is one, get her one present. She does not need more. Perhaps get her involved in getting gifts to give to those more in need.

justmakingthebest's picture

I have always loved the 4 present rule:

  • Something you want
  • Something you need
  • Something to wear a
  • Something to read

I stuck with this a parent presents and then 1-2 other things from Santa, I think it keeps the entitlement down. 

PokaDotty's picture

"something you want, something you need, something for fun and something you'd read"; however one year OSD in the "something you want" she listed anything Gucci.... Not being a Kardashian, that was definitely something we could not afford so I bought her a dish drying rack and got out my label maker and stuck Gucci on it. I even used the gold glittery label tape for authenticity. Hehehe

purplegirl201's picture

I am not shopping for SS this year, I will let DH decide what he gets, Last year I spent $300 on clothes, board games and he could have cared less about 90 percent of it, he did like the video games (should have stopped with them)  He is all about his XBOX or youtube so why would I attempt to buy something that he has NO interest  in at all. We could probably give him a XBOX gift card and he may think thats the best thing in the world. Of course no matter what we get he is still going to wake up and say I wonder what presents are at my moms house. The kicker there is that there are never any presents at moms house, she gose to the CVS or thrift store and buys stupid crap that he doesn't want or need. 

I get that it isn't about the gifts but she gets child support so instead of spending it always on herself for smokes and gas spend a little of it on the person it is actually intended for and don't act like Christmas sneaks up on you and you weren't ready for it.

She said that last year and I responded with "funny it's the same day every year" 

Stepmama2321's picture

Sneaks up on you? Yea that's stupid. SO and I don't have a lot of money so I start putting aside money months in advance. This year I'm just getting stuff for my 2 DD and SO can be left to scramble last min getting gifts for his kid. She won't like any of them anyways because she is a boring 8yo with NO interests.