Damned if I do, screwed if I don't
My children came home tiday after a few days with their father. The kids revealed that their grandparents will be taking their family on a cruise this summer as the family Christmas gift. They do this every year so I was anxious to hear where they'd be headed this year.
Now..
This past year exH didn't bother to mention the dates of last Summer's trip. They ended up conflicting with other plans that fell on my time. I explained to him that it would not have been a big deal had he informed me 6 months prior, when he originally found out. But that when he waits till go-time to ask for the kids, it interferes with other plans that have been laid.
Kids have already mentioned the month of the trip. Id like to reach out and get details. I also try not to handle EVERything for the ex regarding kids. But, if I don't, then kids end up missing out.
I don't want to overstep. I don't want to keep enabling the ex.
Oh, decisions. Decisions.
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Comments
There are a couple direct
There are a couple direct ways to deal with this. One call the gparents and for the dates. No need to explain. "I need the dates in case it falls on my time"
Or tell the ex he needs to tell you by this date or you are going to call gparents yourself.
As much as the whole enabling thing sucks, doesnt sound like it will change, so you can either keep being inconvienced, or have the kids miss out. Neither i suspect you want, so i would just take it upon myself and call the gparents. Come summer, no surprises.
There will come a time when the kids are old enough to get the dates for you.
There is nothing wrong with
There is nothing wrong with you calling them and saying, "Hi, I am so glad the kids are going to get to go on vacation with you next summer! They had such a great time last year! I just wanted to check the dates so I can make sure there aren't any conflicts and I can take care of it now if there is anything else during that time." Leave off the part about their son being a dumbass who can't be bothered to give you any info and that it caused an issue last year.