Sooooooo, DH received a few texts from BM this weekend and one doozy from OSD(15) as well.
BM apparently told him she and OSD ‘had a lot of talks’ this weekend about the situation with DH.
She mentioned that OSD’s ‘decision’ was ‘the best she could offer at this time.’
OSD’s text was basically telling DH he could take her to a movie this coming Saturday.
DH was NOT HAPPY. BUT on the plus side, we were able to have a really good conversation about it.
First thing was, after he was done ranting about the BM and about OSDs attitude of privilege and getting ready to text BM back, I told him to set down his phone. “Why would you want to contact BM after what you just said about her and what she is participating in? I’ve said a million times that you should not trust her, you don’t, and then WHY are you trying to communicate with her again?!” He put down his phone and agreed to sleep on any answer or response to BM.
Then on to OSD as we discussed…
*So the best she can offer is a couple hours of a movie SHE wants to see, that she gets dropped off right before and picked up right after. How do you talk there? You don’t – exactly what she wants.
We agree on this 100%.
*And then the ‘best she can offer at this time’ is measly two hours after almost a year now of not talking with DH – so, how does she turn that around into a 10 day vacation abroad? She doesn’t. I think, DH, that she has zero intention of going on this trip at all.
He pauses, but thinks this is a rational assessment.
*And if she does come over for a weekend at our home (which I don’t think she will do) then what are the requirements for interactions? And if she does come, and her attitude stinks…it’s still no trip.
He has thought of this and has a plan. OK, good. But he’s also aware she hasn’t for one iota insinuated she’ll step foot in our home.
*And if she doesn’t trip is still off for her.
Good. He’s sticking to this.
This morning he let me know that he thought about it. He’s going to let her know he’ll take her to a movie IF she has dinner with him first. “She has to learn to communicate and compromise,” said DH. And if she doesn’t agree to dinner (we don’t think she will), then no movie and no trip.
So guys…what say you?
- OSD agrees to dinner and movie but won’t come for weekend; no trip.
- OSD states only movie and no weekend; no trip.
- OSD has no intention of going on trip in the first place.
- OSD magically reforms, apologizes to everyone, and goes on the trip and we all have so much Fun!
Addendum: We also discussed YSD(13). DH is going to have some serious talks with her this summer about what high school she wants to go to. If she goes to OSD’s high school, near BMs, then we will move. She has to make a decision one way or another over the summer due to logistics. Tours and enrollment at the high schools start late fall/before holidays so DH needs to know over the summer.