when do preventable accidents become parental neglect?
as i have mentioned, things have been very peaceful and pleasant on the bm front, as far as our interactions with her.... however we have been hearing from ss that he is upset at things at his moms house, and "something is bothering him" every time we get ss back from bm's he has a new scratch or injury, from either playing out side, falling on gravel, etc. all things have been chalked up to the fact that he is a 5 yo boy and bumps and bruises are going to happen....but for some reason its only happening at bm's house?! there have been a couple little annoyances, but for the sake of keeping the peace, we have looked the other way and not caused drama.
friday dh picked ss up from bm, her bf was with her which usually he has nothing to do with bm...there is a bandage above ss's left eye..bm explains that she was "right there" and it was an "accident", her bf also repeatedly apologizes. turns out bf was playing pool and jumped the que ball which flew off and got ss right above the eye.............every ones first response, "why was ss standing there??" apparently bm and her bf are too fucking stupid to grasp this concept, but anyways, bm says that its "pretty bad" but that she doesnt think ss needs stiches.
dh proceeds to take ss up to my moms house where a bunch of my family is all getting together, dh takes off the bandage, and EVERYONE gasps at how aweful this injury is and EVERYONE with out question says that ss needs to go to the hospital. HOW IS IT THAT HIS OWN MOTHER DIDNT THINK HE NEEDED TO GO??? ill tell you how!! because bm failed to mention to us that ss no longer has medical or any other type of insurance, and beause she spends her money on god knows what, she did nt have the money to take him!!! we know this because, dh called bm and told her to meet him at the hospital because she had his health card...they meet at urgent care to find out his card was rejected (thats how dh finds out hes not covered anymore) then bm says she does not have the 100 dollars for him to go to urgent care, so they are off to the hospital, dh tells bm that she needs to pay the entire bill for this "accident" it was preventable, and its not like ss did something on his own.... bm agrees that she will. ss had to get his eye glued, rather than stiches, so who knows what that bill is going to be.
so here is the issues. currently the court order states that each parent is 50% responsible for any and all medical expenses concerning ss. but dh and i are sick of the fact that ss ONLY gets sick and injured while with bm. why should we pay for a hospital visit resulting from an accident she could have prevented that HER bf caused? 6 months ago, ss was bitten very badly on the right eye by her pit bull, and because we didnt get him until days later, bm didnt take him to the hospital then either...but he clearly should have gone. my question is, whats next? they drink a lot and often ride quads and dune buggys, with that combo its only a matter of time before ss has his first hospital stay, and what? dh should pay half the bill for that too? dh and i are drafting up a letter to state that both parties bm and dh agree to alter the current court order and that any medical cost incurred from an injury will be the sole responsibility of which ever parent had custody at the time the injury occurred. we are some what confident that bm will sign this letter to avoid court....but do any of you know if this will stand up in court? we are currently looking in to getting insurance for him on own, and would have, but bm has lied all this time and we didnt even know it was an issue.
i was at bunco when it happened, and some one told me that we really needed to call cps, and report this, and the dog bite that i have photos of, even though it will cause a bunch of drama its better to watch out for ss, and make sure that this is all documented...dh says no, that bm has been cooperative and does love her son, just has no idea to be a parent....what do you all think?