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normal kid behavior vs skid behavior.... whats normal?

smnikki's picture

ss5 and i have always had a very good relationship. never any issues. bm and i have been getting along really well, and everything has been going pretty well!!

dh and i are planning to hopefully get pregnant in july or august, and im finally over all the drama and stress and able to focus on my amazing life with dh and get excited about our hopefully soon, pregnancy!!

we changed the schedule due to a couple factors, all of which were really understandable, and bm was very nice to accommodate them, one reason being us having ss for fathers day. so usually or 5-5-2-2 schedule changed to bm having ss all but 4 days out of the last we will have him two weekends in a row (10 out of the next 14) and last night was ss's first night back after being away for 5.

im really annoyed with him and im not sure where it is coming from. even last week when we had him for 2 days, he has an attitude, and is extremely un grateful for the things dh and especially i do for him, he constantly acts as though hes entitled and no longer acts as the sweet appreciative boy im used to. for example, before, i would buy something like yogurt for him for breakfast, when he saw it in the fridge he would say, thank you smnikki for buying that for me! yesterday i bought mini doughnuts for him, and when he got home he looked at them and said, oh you should have bought me the chocolate ones. dh immediately said, well guess what, now you dont get any! dh made him apologize, but it was insincere and i was still upset. in the morning dh gives ss a bath in our big jacuzzi bath tub, that way dh can shower and keep his eye on ss. i have caught ss peeing in the bath tub before, and have made a huge deal about dh making him go before he gets in the tub....usually ss knows to do it, but this morning i asked him if he went already, he told my in a snotty tone, "i dont have to" i said "wrong answer, go, now!" what do you know he peed for like a minute! gross, i take baths in that tub too, i have now told dh he needs to get up early and give ss a bath in the other tub! im not going to clean it every time i want to use MY bath tub.

dh says he does not notice a change in ss...but hes so wrapped up in baseball right now, he doesnt notice much.

i guess what im asking kids go through these snotty little phases? i feel like hes purposely trying to piss dh and me off so that he can stay with his also concerned that bm's nice front is actually covering her causing all kinds of PAS to ss, and maybe thats the reason for the change. everything out of his mouth is "at my moms" "my mom has that" etc, and i know for a fact that he does not do that at his moms about his life at our house...granted i think its because he knows he has to protect her feelings....i just feel like he doesnt care about hurting mine these days.

last night after dinner, ss immediately asked what he was having for dessert, dh in an annoyed tone told him he could have an apple, no one said that he was going to be getting dessert EVERY night, like he has now started assuming. ss went up stairs to pout and then came back down, he walks over to me (dh was in the other room) and tells me.. "i can swim under water now, and do flips, and i can hold my breath" he was really proud of him self, and surprisingly didnt mention bm... then right after he told me he went back up stairs..i kinda felt like he was trying to reach out to me because he knew he hurt my feelings (he didnt tell dh anything about his new swimming abilities) but then really had no interaction with me at all the rest of the night...and this morning when i asked him if he was going to help me with dinner, he said no...and for him thats really weird, usually hes practically on top of me trying to help...

any advice?


stepmom2one's picture

of course. All kids go through stages. Sometimes SD and BS have bad MONTHS and then are back to fine for a long time.

Him being sassy is probably either a phase. But when you do get preggo I would be expecting a back lash from him--and that will be completely normal as well.

I would like to add that it is best not to take up every fight. Simple things ( IMO anyway) like asking for dessert....if that was the "problem of the day" you guys have no idea how good of a child he is!! lol

Good luck on that pregnancy!!

smnikki's picture

i think thats why im having such a hard time with it all. he and i have always been very close. and im taking things really personal because i just cant believe hes acting this way. you are very right though, "our problem of the day" is not bad and he really is a great kid

stepmom2one's picture

that is probably it. I know it is hard when you think you have made a really bond with a child, they leave for a couple of wks and come back acting like they the bond was never there.

He is adjusting to change, it is really hard for such a young child. Stability is essential for child, I know you will truely understand this once your pregnancy gets in full gear.

Just switching wknds can throw off my SD11s attitude. As well as my BSs...we try not to switch without looking inflexible to BM.