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How would you feel?

SMLIFESUCKS's picture

I have bios, who I talk to daily and see every other day and every other weekend. How would you feel if your kids didn't talk to you? They didn't even notice they hadn't talked to you?

Mine sometimes will go a day without talking to me, if their dad takes them to a fun place but will know they didn't talk to me. My BS13 has a cell phone, which him and BD9 can use to call me, whenever. My exh doesn't dictate if they can or when they can contact me.

DH has finally (took 4 years of me saying it) realized that BM wanted control therefore, that's why he had to contact her to talk to his kids. So now DH doesn't call BM everynight anymore. I didn't want DH not to talk to his kids, let me straighten that out. I didn't feel it was neccessary for BM to get on the phone before, in between each kid and after to talk to DH, plus text whenever the hell she wanted.

So when BM and SD11 purposely didn't tell DH, SD11 had a cellphone, DH got a little ticked. Apparently SD11 had the cellphone for over a month, he hadn't gotten them, they were sick, etc etc. SD11 nor BM told DH that she had a cellphone and SD11 had it in her back pocket when he picked her up.

Then SD11 tried to play stupid when DH asked when she got it, and acted like DH couldn't see it in her back pocket. So DH got pissed, BM and DH had it out. BM told DH he couldn't talk to the girls on that phone and I quote "All nightly calls must come through me". So DH finally put his foot down and said, I wont call then, if they want to talk to me, they can call me.

Well let me tell you, they haven't called him not once. Supposedly SD11 sent him a "love you, night" text once and then he called her. I suspect any texting is BM but I'm keeping my mouth shut on that one. So DH asks SD11 "do you realize that I dont talk to you but once a week sometimes once every 3 weeks since you got your phone" Apparently SD11 did her crying bit.

Now DH is realizing that honestly they dont care to talk to him. He was making all the effort and they are making none. DH says BMs texts are down to maybe once a week but I haven't seen that for myself.

Is this really how kids treat their parents at this age? Is this a skid thing? My kids will call me if I dont call them and I see them every other day.

Is this the norm or are they showing DH they dont really care?

Comments

LaMareOssa's picture

It's heartbreaking to watch. SD12, before DH got custody two years ago, wouldn't call him at all. Ever. SD never cared to talk to him. He was "out of sight out of mind" It broke my heart then and still does now because I know that if BM ever got custody again, DH wouldn't see SD again. }:) Which would be fine by me }:) But to see our husbands like that is very sad. My SD12 doesn't care about DH, honestly, if it were up to SD, she would see her mom and that would be it. Doesn't matter how much other members of the family have helped her or love her, she is loyal to her BM and no one else..Even though BM doesn't want her.

SMLIFESUCKS's picture

I think its crazy to see this go down. We can see it but they can't. I also dont want my DH hurt like this by BM or these girls.

Dh's girls are extremely loyal to BM, they have called DH lazy because he fell asleep on the sofa watching a movie with them after working 12 hours 7 days a week. What??

I couldn't imagine turning my bios against their dad, even though he is a POS from hell. I always tell them he's their dad and my problems with him are mine alone not theirs.

It is so heartbreaking watching him get hurt when he's bent over backwards for these two all the time. UGH