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Oh I hope I am wrong

SM12's picture

I think I have posted a few times about YSS wanting to stick around our house longer and longer each week.   Well in the last 10 days, we had him 7 and BM had him 2.  He was supposed to go to BMs yesterday but he had a friend pick him up and he stayed all night with a friend.    My gut is telling me that YSS May end up living with us soon.   I can see the writing on the wall.   YSS apparently hates going home to BMs.   I don't know if it is because of OSS and MSS or because he gets ignored...:or maybe he hates hearing BM and SO trash DH.   
I honestly think if BM could kee from laying support she would let YSS come here to stay.  She clearly doesn't mind not seeing him. 

Lord I hope I am wrong...I do NOT want to spend the next 5 years raising YSS.


SubstituteMommy's picture

I hope you're wrong, too. Having to raise a step-kid full-time because their BM doesn't want to is far from fun or easy. It's miserable.

SM12's picture

I just try to put it out of my head so I don't get stressed thinking about it

MissK03's picture

Every day I wish BM would actually take the skids and be a parent. Instead, she texts them pictures of the time warp she is stuck in from when they were small. It has been over two years now since they stopped going to her house. (It was every other weekend before that) They have spent two nights with her in 2 and half years. Xmas eve 2018, 2019. Which I don't even consider because we drop them off after 10pm and they are home at 10am. She goes months without seeing them. There is no distance issue as she is 10 minutes away. Sad part is she THINKS she is doing the right thing. Which, she kind of is because they are less exposed to her and her ways. She didn't even take them for Mother's Day this year. Ya know, covid excuse. My SO I have only spent 1 night away in this time frame too. (Which I told him needs to change yesterday actually lol) While her and husband live the child free life. 

I hope for your sake he continues to go to BMs. 

JRI's picture

Our MOTY didn't have any one of her 3 kids overnight ever, that I can recall, once they all moved in with us.  My ex, a deadbest dad, was no better.  So we had all 5 kids each and every day and night of the year EXCEPT Thanksgiving when BM took her 3  for the day and my 2 went to XMIL.  So, needless to say, Thanksgiving was my fave holiday: stay in bed late and go out to eat.

Our BM lived close enough, too.  She was in the throes of her relationship with FH.  He didn't like the kids and vice versa.

tog redux's picture

Well, much as you guys aren't happy that she lets OSS and MSS choose not to visit DH, YSS should not be allowed to refuse to visit BM.  If there is a custody order, he should stick to that.

SM12's picture

DH isn't the grudge holding type so he would never keep YSS from BM and I certainly wouldn't.   I want my kid free time too badly to be that petty haha

tog redux's picture

Not even just "keeping him from BM", but not letting a child decide he doesn't want to see a parent. BM here used to always proclaim innocence, that she wasn't keeping SS from DH, it was DH's own behavior that made SS not want to come over. But that completely ignored the fact that she was allowing a child to sever a relationship with his parent, which is supremely unhealthy for the kid, and poor parenting.

Maganamitre04's picture

It's so scary to see how much a child does nothing to want to be social or find their independence for becoming social. I have a SS9 who does absolutely nothing but play video games and stay glue to a phone. Once I make DH take it away (clearly he's not bothered that he's on it all day) SS has no idea what to do with himself and or do anything independently! It's so sad and also at the same time I blame both BM and DH, cause they enable it. All I can do I sit back and observe what will ever come of this and with hopes that one day he will find it within himself to make friends physic vs virtually. 

Stay supporting as much as you can, given the skid isn't yours you have to just be the person on the sideline watching.