You are here

Just checking in

Simpleton21's picture

I haven't made a blog or update or even been on ST in a while so here is my update/checking in.  I don't really have much exciting to report other than I have been trying to disengage even more from SD and MIL than before.  SD is still super annoying and attention hungry on her visits.  She is 13 at what age do skids stop desperately seeking attention and self entertain?!?! Good grief.  I even talked with DH's BF's wife about this (as she has known SD all her life and knows BM).  It was nice to talk/vent with her because she sees the craziness as well and thinks that SD is a spoiled brat that desperately seeks attention and manipulates DH and BM (as they allow it also). 

Surprisingly SD has not sustained a sports related injury yet.  She did complain that 2 girls smashed her finger in field hockey b/c she was doing such an amazing job they had to team up on her.  Eh, I'm not sure I believe that she was doing some stellar job but whatever.  I ignore this stuff for the most part.  Every DH visit with SD is basically taking her from 1 sport practice to another.  I guess SD got mad that he left her PRACTICE and didn't stay and watch it.  Oh freaking well.  Since when were parents encouraged to watch kids PRACTICE games.  I know as a kid I never wanted/expected my parents to be at my practices and don't remember other parents there either unless they were the coach.  This is just SD manipulation thought.  Mad at daddy for not staying and watching her practice and goof off but when he offers to get her on additional days she is too busy with friends.  Booh freaking who.

Oh and since my last blog MIL fell and broke her hip/femur bone and had to have surgery.  She is always falling and hurting herself and she doesn't eat right or treat her diabetes like she should.  Both DH and SIL told MIL that she needed to go to an inpatient nursing home rehab this time before going home (after her last surgery she lied to the hospital saying she had someone to care for her and didn't and then called and harassed DH and SIL all night for not being there to care for her).  It was like this incident all over again except both children told her yet again they wouldn't be able to help and she needed to set up the help they offer.  Now MIL is trying to manipulate and make DH feel bad for not visiting her more.  She is constantly trying to force her kids to see her and no one wants to b/c she is so unpleasant and manipulative.  She told DH that her sister was coming to town and DH mentioned it would be nice to see his aunt that he hasn't seen in at least 7 years...go figure MIL got jealous about that and went off "It would be nice if you wanted to come see you MOTHER who just broke her leg and spend time with your MOTHER not just visit to see your aunt!" WTF!?!?! I have continued to try to disengage from MIL as much as possible.  DH isn't happy about me not wanting to go spend time with her but IDGAF.  She is gross and I have no respect for her.  I have never tried to prevent him from going to visit or spend time with her.  I have just made it clear that I am no longer going to.  She gives me anxiety and HBP.  I refuse to sacrifice my day and my well being just because she is lonely and manipulative. 

Gah, okay, feels good to vent.  I know this probably all sounded really hateful but I've reached my limit...especially with MIL.


Aniki's picture

Hey, lady! Good to hear from you.

Unfortunately, some people NEVER outgrow that. I know women in their 40s thru 70s who are still desperately seeking attention and try to manipulate whoever will allow it. Sad

Venting is good for you! Smile

Simpleton21's picture

Good to hear from you also :) 

Ugh, yeah, she is 65+ so I'm sure she will never grow out of it!

Go figure, she tried to rope DH in this weekend to come over again, thankfully even he didn't want to go this time so it didn't cause us a fight!

Harry's picture

Because DH doesn't want to change anything.  He enjoys the drama,  he enjoys his DD being a SD being a spoiled brat that desperately seeks attention and manipulates.  Because his mother taught him that the way life is going to be.  Is there a reall differance between SD and MIL. Both are the same in there ways 

Simpleton21's picture

Good point!  He doesn't have a problem with their antics but I do.  Apparently he would rather piss me off than them :( 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

You don't sound hateful at all. You're a healthy person doing a great job of detaching from an unhealthy dynamic. Venting and receiving validation here is a way to cope. No shame in that.

Keep rocking that disengagement. Your H may be pissy at first, but he'll get used to it, and in time he may come to rely on that drama-free zone you create.


Simpleton21's picture

Thank you!  I guess I just feel bad.  I want to have a good relationship with his family but they suck so much! LOL!

Oh, I plan on rocking the disengagement.  DH can be pissy a million times over and it won't change my plans.  His mom is toxic and he can cater to her if he wants.  I have no problems with him spending time with her WITHOUT me Smile

JRI's picture

Your SD and MIL sound the same.  Both are attention hungry.  Maybe it's genetic?  More likely, one of those family patterns.

Simpleton21's picture

JRI, I was beginning to wonder if it is possible for this crazy mindset to be genetic.  They both drive me crazy but at least SD is a bit more tolerable.