Yeah, I know not everyone uses FB for saying Happy Bday but I didn't even get a text from either of them either.  Plus, like I said, she uses it to wish EVERYONE else in the family a HBD or congratulations or whatever.  I do value the in person interaction far more than social media and am happy that they are taking me out.  I know I am looking to deeply into it and probably sound ungrateful which is not the case.  

LOL, yeah, I know it isn't reality.  It just feels like a small slight from her.  It isn't just my birthday that she doesn't acknowledge on fb.  She rarely likes any of my pics of my kids or anything I post but yet likes almost EVERYTHING my brothers post or their kids pics so I guess that is why I feel like it is an intentional slight as well.  I'm obviously not going to bring this up to her or my dad.  I will enjoy our dinner together and thank them for taking me out.  

I do agree that telling me in person is far more important than fb.  I mostly ignore fb bdays as well unless it is family or a close friend.  I do ALWAYS text her happy bday or happy mother's day and acknowledge her early in the day.  I know I shouldn't expect the same in return.  I also know that I'll see them tonight and am probably just being overly sensitive.

No, they don't have social anxiety.  They had just spent the day before at her granddaughters graduation and stayed for the whole thing.  I get that I am not her child and that my kids aren't her bios.  I know that you don't love/care for a child that isn't yours the same as your own (that is why I am here, lol).  It was just upsetting that the only message I got on the day of the event I gave them tickets to was that they were leaving.  I don't even care that they didn't sit with me.  What bothered me most is that they acted like they wanted to go so badly and then didn't even acknowledge my son or tell him after that they were there.  His gma on his dad's side made it a point to go find him and tell him how great he did and let him know that she saw it.

Queensway, Thank you! :)  

I am far more hurt about the recital incident and that is probably why I am reading more into the lack of acknowledgement on fb or via text regarding my bday.  I know that not everything is fair and don't expect her to treat me the same as her own children....but at least the same as she treats my brothers....I will enjoy dinner and make sure to thank her as well.  I know she doesn't have to do anything for me so I do appreciate the fact that she will be at dinner with my dad.  

Thank you PA!

I know I am reading to much into something so silly.  Even my fiance noticed it as well though.  He always makes a point to text her and wish her a happy bday first thing or acknowledge it on fb.  Plus, it is the other minor things as well that made me feel this way.  Overall, I think I have a good relationship with her that is why I don't understand why I seem to be treated differently than the others.  I'll still enjoy dinner and be thankful for that

Hahaha, no worries!  Thank you

I do agree this is something that needs addressed with my dad.  I don't want to cause any rifts with him and my SM either though.  I vented to my brother about the recital b/c he knows how my SM can be.  He understood and I left it at that. My dad is also aware of some of the things she does but to me the issues are so small that it isn't worth causing turmoil over.  

There is definitely some passive, female-female aggression - not just referring to these incidents - that I have noticed over the years and I have just chalked it up to my SM being insecure but it does bother me a bit b/c I have always respected their relationship and her as a person.  It is weird b/c as soon as I started dating my now fiance she definitely seemed to warm up to me more and she really likes him. 

Thanks marblefawn.  Actually when my dad and SM first started dating my brother was her least favorite person and understandably so b/c at the time he was into doing drugs and caused her and my dad lots of problems.  I don't think it is a matter of kinship.  I do think it may be that she is happy that he is now clean and sober and doing well so she wants to support that.  

I know it is stupid to get upset about fb.  Dinner was much more meaningful and overall for the most part she is a really good SM.  

We had Mexican so no surf N turf but it was delicious.  They also got me a gift certificate for a massage.  I was pleasantly surprised by that b/c usually we just do dinner and no gifts.

Thanks momjeans!  

Even if she had text me instead of fb I wouldn't have felt so biffed about it.  I definitely didn't say anything to anyone other than my fiance and venting here about how it made me feel.  I know that if she was doing it intentionally (which I believe she was) that she would act as if she wasn't and all apologetic but also be happy that it worked.  

Ugh, yeah, I know what you are talking about with that also.  I guess those fakey fake people don't realize that most people can see right through that act when their actions don't line up with their words!  I had this happen with co-workers before.  I blocked them all and learned my lesson!  Do not be fb friends with co-workers!