Timeline of events:
I filed for child tax benefits going forward.
BM received a letter indicating that she would be receiving half the child tax benefits she's currently receiving, going forward.
BM threw a fit.
I sent in a copy of their agreement...as well as a copy of all the email back and forth....which happens to include multiple references of ss being here half the time (and more) since 2016
My application was not only approved going forward.....but also approved retro 3 years.
She received another letter telling her they were going retro for 3 years based on the information they have, and that she will owe them what was overpaid to her...and she's being audited.
She owes just over 14,000$....which is the 50% she got for time he was in my home.
I received just over 9,000$....which is the amount our home is entitled to for the 50% he was in our home.
DH, IDIOT, may have mentioned to her that we received $9k... because she's now demanded that our 9k pay off her 9k off her debt, and that we should split the payment of the remaining 5k owed because it's 50/50.
The payment came to Me, since only one parent in the home gets it...and I already get it for my own kids... dh is now demanding the money.
Somehow, I'm the only one whose mind it crosses that this isn't free money....this is a reimbursement to me of the costs I incurred over the last few years for ss's care.... and that going forward, it's added to the household budget.
I'm willing to concede the difference in payment amounts between 3 kids and 4 kids to be placed in an account for ss.... which is dh compromise...on the condition that the other funds are also removed from the household budget and split between my own kids accounts....resulting in a deficit to the household budget that will need to be filled by both dh and I incurring additional costs.
Dh seems to think that only ss's share shouldn't be used for household funds...but that my kids share is fair game. I said no.
Dh has no access to my bank account, in which these funds are deposited.
Am I wrong?