Update to frustrated.
A few more conversations: a lot more of FDH playing stuck in the middle. Then his kids came over yesterday.
Apparently BM told them he wasn't going to let her take them to the movies this evening (he had already told her yes.) And that he was not "sharing" with her on Christmas. Christmas eve apparently did not count, even tho it was his day, he told her she could have them, which resulted in the first heated argument that he and I have had since we have been together (years).
Then he gets pissed. Explained to the kids what he actually told their mother, showed them the text messages in his phone and FSD looked him dead in the face and told him:
"Ahh, no. We are supposed to be going to SASX's families house for Christmas. I have been looking forward to it for months. Don't you dare let mom's dumb little games and pity parties ruin our Holiday. As for the movie we don't even WANT to see it" (new twilight, apparently BM is a hard core fan, skids - not so much)
FSS agreed with FSD and they called their mom and told her they were not going to the movies tonight. And they were going to go meet their "new" grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins at Christmas, and "Stop playing with dad's head."
So late last night FDH and I had a chat. About how everyone around him could see her game and he couldn't. Even the kids could recognise the game. But not him.
Per him we are at Game over. He and his kids will be coming with DD and I to my parents house.
This time I believe him: we will see what happens the next time she tries.