I got into an argument with FDH last evening. Man cannot comprehend where I am coming from and apparently per him I am just being unreasonable.
This is his year to have Thanksgiving and Christmas with his kids. BM had them last year and flat refused to share. Those were "her days". Okie doke. Flash forward to this year, and she is throwing herself a pity party that she isn't going to see 'her kids' for the holidays.
FDH and I talked about the schedule months ago. Thanksgiving with his family. Christmas with mine. That meant leaving here on Christmas eve day, spending that evening and the next morning with my family (first time they will meet his kids- and yes, they already bought presents for them).
This is "BM's week" so we have the kids, per the CO, Wed/Thurs. BM gets them back at 8am on Friday. But she made "plans" with the kids to go see the new Twilight move at 9pm Thursday night. FDH states he is sick of her making plans on his time: but here she is making plans on his Holiday time his attitude is "Here let me roll over, just be nice and use some lube please".
NM that she has the kids, Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun and could see this same movie on any of those days. Nope, has to make those plans on his time.
Then BM starts in about Christmas. We have them Xmas eve and day. She gets them the 26th per the CO (and it was reversed last year). So FDH knows we have plans to go out of town, he already had her sign the paperwork approving it as we are leaving the county. Then tells her last night she can have the kids xmas eve, bring them to him at 8pm.
My comment to him was: Well have a Merry Christmas. Guess I will see you on the 26th. DD and I are leaving to my families house at 8AM on the 24th. Its a 5 hour drive. No, your not getting your kids at 8pm, and arriving at my elderly MOTHERS house at 2am and waking her up. And if you wait until the next morning to leave, it is not worth the trip. (Drive 5 hours, to spend 2-3 hours then drive 5 hours back).
He says he needs to take BM's feelings into consideration because they are her kids too. Really: how much consideration did she give you last year?
DH: I am trying to build bridges here. I am not going to keep them from her just to be an ass.
Me: No, but you can be an ass and break your plans with me. Because apparently it's ok to not take my feelings and DD's feelings into consideration - so long as your exwife is happy and content.
DH: I can't make everyone happy here.
Me: Nope, you can't. So you have a decision to make. Who do you want to make happy. I make you this promise. I am keeping the plans we made. DD and I will be leaving at 8am on the 24th. You and your kids will either be with us, or we will see you on the 26th. Your choice. I also promise you this, if you leave me and your future inlaws hanging, after making plans with us, to appease your exwife, you can be assured we will not be making future plans that include you.