Wasn't sure what to title this entry, really just a rant.  All started a couple of weeks ago.   I had posted about SD heading out with friends and staying overnight.  Well she went for two and half days , coming home about 5:00 PM on the last day.    Ok , we're not supposed to be going out etc but?   Well she's 21 and an adult was the reply.   Two weeks went by and my son texted me, could he hang out with his friend.  I replied maybe if outside practicing the social distancing etc, however my DH said abosultely not.  Mind you this is after his daughter goes away for 2 1/2 days to  hang out wherever with whoever, we didn't know.  This was one individual.  Then last night his son went out to hang out with his girlfriend.  Mind you , I thought he was still grounded from the pot smell in his car.   His son also went out to get a hamburger an hour and half before we were cooking hamburgers on the grill for dinner.  Needelss to say guess we're not grounded.  

SD is 21 and thus legal to drink however,  I am worried about how much alcohol she is drinking two or three beers a night or wine cooler.  She is also having two or three margartitas when her dad makes them and will have a drink with lunch often.  

Two days since she has arrived she and her brother have gone up the dispensary to purchase gummies and not sure what else.  

Most the time they are in their rooms, not out socializing .  SD will join us for meals and will sit down briefly to watch television with us.  

My kids and the Skids have a bit of a rough relationship.    SS is downright rude to to my daughter.   Walking past her, not saying hi, looking at her like he would rather she wasn't there.  We were sitting out front when he returned from his hamburger run,  we both said hello as he approached us , he glared but did reply back, never once has he initiated a greeting.  SD and my daughter will talk when I am present but it is akward if I am not there.

Today at lunch my SD brought up a troubling encounter with my son.  He slipped a note under the door and stood there.  He talked in three different voices and said he summoning demons.   SD reported that SS was very shaken by this and upset.   She said she told my son that she didn't like him summoning demons etc.   This happened two nights ago and I am just hearing about it today.  Oh well.  Let's not wake up the parents when troubling things happen, let's let it fester a couple of days and then bring it up. I am aware that my son has a personality disorder and is seeing a mental help specialist for it.  I brought that up along with the fact that we were working on it, my son would have no recollection of it and that I was sorry .  I did bring up that we can't have smoking in the house when he is present as that seems to increase the episodes.  He started having these problems around the time that I feel my SS was starting to smoke in the house.  SD made a flippant remark about the mental illiness and my daughter responded with well we just studied this in my psychology class (she's a psychology major) SD has left college without completing any degree.  Yes my DD was out line and yes I called her out on it.   I looked at my daughter and said guess we'll call dad.   I had been in conversation for awhile about sending my son to live with his dad since he seemed better out there.    Lunch finished and my DD was livid so I told we were going on a walk .  We left, I called her dad and told him the situation and he agreed to come get him.  My daughter is still livid and I tell her might be a good idea to go out for at least the afternoon for a break.  She agreed.  We came back and I was told that my SD was downstairs crying because she thought I had said this was all her fault,  before I would say something I would regret I went back out , took another walk around the block and came back to be confronted by DH that I needed to apolize.  I said that was what I was going to do but did he really want me to do it when I was still upset which is why I went on a walk.  I went downstairs and apolized to SD and told her that I didn't say this started when she came, that it had started way back in January before we even knew she was coming , she brought up about my daughter and her comment and some other things.  I told her I was sorry for giving her the impression tha I blamed her, that. i didn't blame either her or her brother but that my son living with his dad was best at this point and that we're all tense , my daughter especially since this girl has gone out with friends for the weekend, has no cares in the world and is kind of rude, is feeling very upset.  I told SD that my duaghter is unable to hang out with her friend because she will die if she gets this COVID-19 stuff.  We're all stuck in the house and really my daughter has had enough.   My daughter does our grocery shopping, she helps me around the house, cleans the bathroom, empties the dishwasher and generally helps out around the house.  SD barely does her dishes, brings her brother food in his room, and games all day and stays up most the night.  

Then my DH informed me that his daughter was upset that she didn't want my son to have to go with his dad. I repled to my DH that SD couldn't have it both ways.  She has had problems with DS since she got here three weeks ago.  She didn't like him talking to her in a foreign language, she made it apparent she didn't like what he was interested in and would look at him with disdain.  I and his dad feel it is the best place for him.  

Needless to say all my kids are with their father , the older one till Wednesday, the younger till this COVID-19 stuff with the stay at home orders end and my daughter for the afternoon and early evening possibly overnight.  I am stiing here typing this blog with no kids in the house as the SKIDs have left too for no idea how long.   I have no resentement toward SKIDS , I actually feel relief that my son is not here.  I had disengaged from SS several months ago and while its still frustrating I remind myself I can only control my reaction most of the time, though I do lose at times when frustration is particularly high.  I was actually thinking it went well , I had held it together until I had gotten away from the house but all is not what it appears to be.  

Sorry for the long rant.