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Ok Ladies and Gents, help me out with this shitty situation.

Sadie-TheCleaningLady's picture

About 6 years ago my FDH did a makeup artistry course and passed with flying colours (the shit head is actually very good, I much prefer for him to do my makeup rather than myself most of the time lol). Although he has a totally different full time job he has done some bridal parties makeup every now and then.
Anyhow this is where my dilemma comes in, to cut a long story short, BM is engaged and apparently from what the skids tell us she has issues with her FMIL and they don’t speak as the FMIL doesn’t like BM Dirol (I have never met BM’s FMIL, but she sounds totally awesome Wink ) . So BM was telling skids that her and her BF have a wedding coming up on BF side of the family and FMIL is going to be at this wedding. She told the skids that she wants to look hot and amazing to shove it up FMIL and that she wants MY FDH to do her makeup for that night :jawdrop: .
Skids told FDH and then FDH asked me if I would mind as he doesn’t, he asked me right in front of the skids. Let me just say that BM and I don’t have a terrible relationship, we can communicate quite well when it come to the skids and I know that her and my FDH have no romantic feelings for each other. BUT I still don’t want him to do it. I didn’t say anything in front of the skids just got the full story from them and looked at FDH and walked away. It wasn’t until the skids left that I told FDH not a hope in hell and here are my reasons why:
1. I don’t want him to ever be that close to BM and have to touch her in any which way.
2. In the past this woman has disrespected me and made our life hell so I’m not interested in helping her arse out with anything.
3. This reason is completely petty – I don’t want BM to look good
4. BM lost the right to ask MY FDH to do anything for her when she kicked him out of the house and broke up with him after 12years.

FDH still thinks it’s not a big deal and that I should be okay with it.
Should I be okay with this? Am I just over reacting and being silly?

Any thoughts and opinions would be much appreciated Smile


Sadie-TheCleaningLady's picture

Thanks dtzyblnd, I totally agree, it's getting FDH to agree with me that's the problem.

MamaDuck's picture

Hell no! Even given that you don't have a toxic r/s with the BM, STILL, that's just wrong! If your FDH goes ahead with it.. tamper with goods! Put an irritant in the make up so her face puffs up }:)

Lol, OK, that wont work. But it would be fun to be that evil haha

Sadie-TheCleaningLady's picture

Oh God MamaDuck, tamper with goods!, I love it, can't believe I didn't think of it myself, it would be fun but unfortunatly I'm not that evil, maybe you Ladies need to corrupt me alittle Wink

PetStr's picture

Well, does he charge money for these services? If so, I'd charge her more and I'd go with my FDH. I had a similar issue where my ex-dh wanted me to petsit his dog. I asked my dh and he was like "as long as he pays you and his check doesn't bounce we're good"

Sadie-TheCleaningLady's picture

Yes he does normally charge, but hasn't for some of our friends in the past and he already said that he wont charge her. He is still living the fantasy that if he is nice to her she will stay nice with us although she has proved him wrong many many times.
As for me going with him, he has already offered that but the thought of having to sit in BM's house for a couple of hours makes me sick not to mention that once the new and much improved face has been put on I will have to fake the "ohhh you look so good, gee make up can make such a difference }:) " :sick: :sick:

Sadie-TheCleaningLady's picture

Brie, you are saying everything I have said. The only one I find hard to use is - How does he feel about your ex hiring you to decorate his home? My FDH answer to this would be, you guys didn't have kids so it's different, you can cut ties with your ex I can't, we still have to deal with her.

I honestly think that FDH wants to do her make up and I can't put my finger on exactly why.

Sadie-TheCleaningLady's picture

Brie, just to clarify, it's not BM's wedding she is just going to be a guest at a wedding, but I do totally agree with you Smile

MamaDuck's picture

I like this... and then go spend that money on some killer shoes! (or a purse, ya know, anything you like really!)

Sadie-TheCleaningLady's picture

Don't worry Dtzyblnd I wont be taking this lying down and letting them all walk all over me. I've told FDH NOT A HOPE IN HELL, I just know I haven't heard that last of this yet so I getting all my amminition together.

Sadie-TheCleaningLady's picture

I have told him to recommend someone for her and I even suggested who, he looked at me like I had two heads and didn't respond.

I don't think the BM's BF actually cares if MY FDH does it or not, so I think I might offer to give him a one on one singing lesson (I'm a singing teacher) in a private room while FDH does BM's make up and see if MY DH likes that idea }:)

JennSunnySideUp's picture

Okay, I have three opinions about this post to contribute..

1.) There is no way in hell that I would be comfortable with my DH touching all over his BMs face, even if it is doing make-up as part of a job (which it technically wouldn't be since he would doing it pro-bono). I do have a tendency to be jealous of my spouse interacting with exes or someone he once had a sexual relationship with, it's not a problem at my household bc my DH is the exact same way. You may have a different relationship with your SO, but my DH and I find that keeping anyone of that nature simply out of the picture as a precaution. Since BM cannot be kept back like that, keep all expose to a BARE MINIMUM.

2.) It is a mistake to EVER discuss things regarding BM infront of the children. No matter what is being said, they could always run back home and say "DH and Sadie were talking about you!!" which could inevitably lead back to drama. Never a good idea. You should have a calm discussion with DH regarding not speaking about BM whatsoever in front of the skid.

3.) Instead of issuing ultimatums, which in my opinion, is something that should never be a part of a relationship, try compromise. Instead of DH doing her make-up, since he is in the business, suggest that he find someone not as close to the situation to do it and recommend them to her. He must know more people that could be better suited to doing hers for her, maybe even one that lives closer to the location of wedding or her house (thus saving gas expenses).

Willow2010's picture


No way. And I am sorry, but he WANTS to do it and there is a problem with that.

Sadie-TheCleaningLady's picture

Thanks Ladies for all your opinions, I feel alot better now about sticking to my guns.

The relationship betten BM & us isn't bad at all and actually works well, although it has taken us 7years to get to this point. But as we all know if you give BM an inch she'll take a mile.

MY mans hands on your face BM IS NOT HAPPENING.