Cry me a river.....
Poor, poor BM.
A bit of history: FDH has had primary custody of the skids since his divorce from BM almost 3 years ago. She gets them one night a week and EOWE, along with time during holidays and school breaks. During this time, she has repeatedly cut short her visitations, supposedly because of her work schedule (though we suspect otherwise). She has paid zero in CS, and has provided nothing useful for them whatsoever. Skid1 is now very recently living at her house and coming here for visitations.
A few months ago, she went on a trip out of state and missed her weeknight and weekend with the skids. This meant that we had them for three weekends in a row, because she refused to swap weekends to make up for the one she missed. Mind you she gave us around 1.5 weeks notice of this.
FDH and I are planning a trip out of state to visit my family for Thanksgiving. We planned this months ago, and informed BM of it then, since she will be taking the kids for the week. Apparently, according to FMIL, she is peeved that she is just now realizing she has the skids for three weekends in a row.
More proof that she lives in her own little made up world.
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No order for CS - she doesn't
No order for CS - she doesn't make much money and FDH felt at the time that it wouldn't be worth the drama with her to try to pursue it. I disagree because she manages to cause drama anyway but whatever.
I fully believe she intends to go after him for CS. Because of their income disparity, even with him having one kid full time, he'd have to pay a pretty penny ($450-600 a month; our state calculator was kind of vague). However, she gets food stamps fraudulently (on the basis of having the skids full time), so we'll see if she thinks it's worth exposing herself. She's a bit slow, so who knows.
Yup. BM is the one who really
Yup. BM is the one who really wanted the skids, which makes the whole situation even more annoying. He needs another consultation with his lawyer to figure out if he can file for back support, and whether he should wait until she files to do so. Either way, if he does end up having to pay her, he absolutely will not be a wallet to open when the skid needs something. She can be responsible for providing for him.
The kicker is that BM *could* make roughly double what she's making now. She has been trained in a skilled trade (that's how she and FDH met) but chooses not to work there because it's hard work, and hey, she can scam the government into supporting her.
It's just so hard for our men
It's just so hard for our men to accept that they procreated with losers, isn't it?
FDH was reluctant to have a kid with me because of the added financial responsibility. For me, it's shit or get off the pot time as I am nearing 36 and don't have the luxury of waiting until things are financially perfect (they're pretty good, just not perfect). I pointed out that unlike BM, I am willing to work hard and better myself to make more money; also, I am simply not willing to sacrifice my dream of having a child of my own because he's unwilling to make her share the financial responsibility of her spawn. Not to mention the irony of the fact that he and BM were already deep in debt when they CHOSE to have skid2.
He changed his tune pretty quickly. He's willing to file on her if he can - just needs to consult his attorney on how to proceed.