SS18 - You lying trouble making turd!!!
I am at a total loss on where to go from here with this particular situation and I’m hoping you wise ladies and gents may be able to give me some insight on what to do now.
Very quick background: I have no bio’s and 3 skids all by the same BM (SS11, SS15, SS18). The 2 younger boys live with BM and we see them EOWE and for 2 weeks during summer holidays, no issues there. SS18 lives with us as his mother kicked him out of her house to live with us when he was 13 or 14 (cause she couldn’t handle him but still saw him EOWE) and then again told him to get out of her house last New Years Eve after a blow up between SS and BM’s boyfriend, so for the first 6mths of 2013 BM cut SS off until 1mth prior to his 18 b’day when we (BF & I) contacted and told BM to pull her finger out of her ass and call her son before he wipes her out of his life forever (Just so you are all aware my relationship with BM is not terrible and we have communicated quite well with each other in the past, although out of my 9 year relationship with BF, things have only been good between BM and myself for about the last 4 of those years). BM contacted SS18 about 6mths ago and they started talking and seeing each other again since, now SS18 thinks she is MOTY :sick:
Back to the situation at hand, lately BF and I have been receiving SMS’s from MOTY saying how we are too hard on SS18, to go easier on him or send him back home to her, etc, etc..... We have confronted SS18 about this many times, his answer is always mum is overreacting and being stupid to which BF has told SS18 that if he is not happy here with us that he can always go back to MOTY’s house.
Last night after another ridicules and untrue message from MOTY, BF and I told SS18 that the next time he talks shit about us to MOTY and we receive a text from her that there will be consequences. After a few back and forward text’s, SS18 basically admits that he has been lying and bending the truth about us to MOTY, 1 of his SMS’s to me said and I quote “I’m sure you guys don’t care if one person thinks you are bad parents”. After reading this line it was like a light bulb turned on in my head. For the last 6mths since SS18 and BM have started talking again, SS18 has been trying to make BM feel bad for kicking him out by telling her how awful it is at our house, which is totally untrue. In turn MOTY has gone back to hating my guts again because of his lies and manipulation and is making life extremely difficult. I told BF last night that SS18 can pack his shit and fuck off back to his mothers seeing as we are so terrible to him, cause I’m and sick and tired of his lies.
All BF had to say is ‘I’m always the meat in the sandwhich, I can’t choose between my son and you’
ME: ‘I’m not asking you to choose, but are you seriously telling me that you don’t care that SS18 is using and lying about us just to get sympathy and make his mother feel bad, which in turn is causing MOTY to make our lives hell again’
The sad and hurtful thing about all of this is that SS18 is a smart kid and knows exactly what he is doing and the game he is playing.
Any advice on how to tackle this would be much appreciated.