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Need some feedback - be gentle with me!

round2's picture

What do your DH's do about the first day of school? My Sd and my kids are in different school districts so we high five on the first day of school and take care of our own kids.

DH was on a business trip this week when he called me last night he said "SD called me tonight and told me she wants me and BM to drive her to school together on Monday".

Ummm, no. You want to play family get the hell back together was my initial response (to myself).

BM has been openly nasty to me and him and even made craopoy remarks about my kids whome she has never met. So, there is animosity from me about her. Just last week sje referred to us as DH's "fat new family". I am 5'6 and a size 8 - chubby but not fat.

We had a tense conversation about it where he agreed not to hobor the request but is being shitty to me now.

Am I wrong? Bring it on!


New second wife-step-mom's picture


Ummm, no. You want to play family get the hell back together was my initial response (to myself).

^^^^^ This.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

Idk SO doesn't go the first day of school, we don't live that close, he works and it just doesn't seem to make any sense to lose pay, waste gas and travel time to watch them walk in the door. BM might send a pic if she is in a good mood, we have Back to School night for meeting teachers and introducing yourself. I have always found the first day of school to be hectic, teachers do not want to chat with parents, they want to get the kids in the building and settled in. My kids are IN MS and HS and would be mortified if either me or SO brought them to school, it's all about walking with friends.

I don't see any reason BM and DH should have to drive in the same car, I am a big believer in Not Playing House. Meet them at the school.

round2's picture

Thanks guys - thats what I said too - meet at the school. What is the big freaking deal with that? He has trouble telling his little Princess no.

Don't they all?

PrincessFiona's picture

Schools here don't want parents there the first day. When my kids were very small I made them ride the bus and met them at school to make sure they got to their classroom. A quick hi, have a good day and then left.

They give out a lot of instructions the first day and if you don't follow what your normal routine will be the kids might miss out on some important directions.

That's always been what I follow. Kids dont' need you there, the school doesn't want you there.

Great Mom but horrified Stepmom's picture

I agree with others, it's fine that they go together but they can drive there separately and leave separately. If your husband has a problem with that then I'd have a problem with him if I were you.

bmhateclub's picture

MY DH does alot of stupid shit but he would have shot that dumb ass question down quickly without even running it by me. I hope he told her N-O from the get go?

Meeting there is fine as others have said.

round2's picture

He did not shoot it down - he told her he would check his work schedule and then ran it by me. He shouod have said no without hesitation. He just can't stand feeling like he let her down - it is ridiculous. Life is full of disappointments - might as well learn that lesson at an early age.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

I agree with this>>>>> Life is full of disappointments - might as well learn that lesson at an early age. SO has had many talks with the boys about Mommy and Daddy not being together, and justanothergurl is his GF, they say well Mommy doesn't have a BF and he just says well one day she will meet the right person. It is unhealty for kids to see divorced parents doing family things together, it causes false hopes and confusion, she needs to learn now!

B22S22's picture

I've read a lot of posts about the whole back-to-school drama... all these SK's wanting both mom and dad to take them, be there, be together, blah blah blah

Me: came from an intact family, rode the bus/drove my car every single day from K-12, never had one, let alone both parents take me to school on "The First Day". Now, I'll admit my mom did always have to take the big "First Day Pic" before we left, but that was it.

I turned out OK.

I guess I must have missed out on something along the way.

stormabruin's picture

I also rode the bus or drove to school every day. My mom did take 1st day of school pics before we left in the morning some years. Others she didn't.

Not only did she not take us to school. She never even drove us the 2 blocks to the bus stop. Wind, rain, hot, cold, we walked...just like all the other kids.

No drama.