First day of school question
What do your DH's do about the first day of school? My Sd and my kids are in different school districts so we high five on the first day of school and take care of our own kids.
DH was on a business trip this week when he called me last night he said "SD called me tonight and told me she wants me and BM to drive her to school together on Monday".
Ummm, no. You want to play family get the hell back together was my initial response (to myself).
BM has been openly nasty to me and him and even made craopoy remarks about my kids whome she has never met. So, there is animosity from me about her. Just last week sje referred to us as DH's "fat new family". I am 5'6 and a size 8 - chubby but not fat.
We had a tense conversation about it where he agreed not to hobor the request but is being shitty to me now.
Am I wrong? Bring it on!
not wrong at all. How old is
not wrong at all. How old is SD? My feeling is that she knows EXACTLY what she's doing.
NOT wrong! How old is SD out
NOT wrong! How old is SD out of curiosity? And how long have DH and BM been apart?
He'd better NOT honor SD's request! My SD tried to do the same shit. Calling "family meetings" and whining that they both promised her they'd remain friends after their divorce and still do things together as a family. Ummm, sorry kiddo. That's just not happening. She'd do ANYTHING or say ANYTHING to get DH and BM in the same vicinity and talking together. Finally, after about a year of manipulation and me in DH's ear about it, he saw the light and put a stop to it. SD admitted she wanted her family back together and tried her hardest to break me and DH up before we got engaged and married.
UGH I feel for you. DH should not be shitty toward you at all and BM is out of line making those statements about you!
Just my opinion. Hang in there!
~Mel
I am not allowed to go to my
I am not allowed to go to my SS first day of school though him and DH want me to because of BM causing shit. She tempts me every point she gets including telling me I couldn't go to the meet and greet then signing in as a 'family' - mind you my husband crossed his name out and made it quickly known they are not a happy family. It is hard on me because SS (4) wants all of us there and I can't be there simply to avoid drama - well this year.
I don't know how old your SD is but depending on her age I think you should let him go. I mean yes comments hurt - I have been called almost every name in the book and my name slandered that I ruined her marriage, I did this I did that - when I got with him way after their marriage and only reason I get so involved with my SS is he always ask his daddy if they can included Ms. Sarah Beth - I tell him to call his mom, don't trash her or anything. I also know how it feels to be the child in a divorced situation and my SF allowed my dad to come to whatever he could not so we could play family but as a supporting factor for me.
In my opinion I don't think you are wrong but from another side I think as long as he defends you as his new wife and it's not like he has to hold BM's hand to walk the child in. Like I said it also depends on the age of the child I would let him go that is his child and sometimes you must do things you don't want to - also are you and SD close? Think about the resentment she could have against you if this was truly her request.
SD is 8, going into 2nd
SD is 8, going into 2nd grade. I think she know exactly what she is doing OR BM is behind this. We went through this last year - they all drove together and I hit the fucking roof. He promised it would never happen again and for him to even broach the subject really hurt my feelings.
I was more hurt than angry. I cried and went to bed. I dont need this shit.
Okay - I somewhat retract my
Okay - I somewhat retract my post if she is 8 which means they have had multiple opportunities for her first day forget it. I know my situation is a little more involved and I didn't know there was a previous incident. I agree that if last year there was issues he shouldn't have even broached it. You need to let him know how much and why it bothers you or he may never get it.
No, you are absolutely not
No, you are absolutely not wrong! It says it in the trans-parenting handbook and seminar that most states require in order for couple's with children to divorce. If there is no option for the couple reuniting they are to discredit immediately any attempt that the child may make to reunite them and I would say this is a pretty darn big scheme in hopes of getting mom and dad back together. If he is being anything besides positive about your feelings, you need to sit him down and explain to him that his actions are portraying to you, his daughter, and, indirectly, his ex-wife that he is open to reuniting which will inevitably weaken your relationship and give daughter and ex-wife the upper hand that will defeat you. He needs to think about it for a while and come to you when he has reached a conclusion. If you are what he wants, he needs to be willing to show that to the world, even his daughter and ex-wife. And if a part of him still has feelings for ex, tell him one of my favorite movie quotes.... straight out of Sweet Home Alabama.... "You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugar bean."
SD is 8? HELLS NO. If it was
SD is 8? HELLS NO.
If it was First day of school, EVER, kindergarten- that's one thing, it is momentous and both parents may want to be there. At this point Grade 2, school is old hat and she is manipulating whether she knows it or not.
Why the hell is the first day of school in grade 2 being given such importance? It is her job to go to school.
Five six and a size 8 isn't
Five six and a size 8 isn't fat or chubby, either, BTW. At least in my book.
I was thinking the exact same
I was thinking the exact same thing!
Yep - they both suck. Welcome
Yep - they both suck. Welcome to my life. Wine makes it more bearable!
My DH usually does not attend
My DH usually does not attend SD5 first day of school. He usually does not know when it is. I blame no one but him. However, I would not have a problem with DH attending open house or the first day of school. I have no desires to attend either one. But I would not tolerate a "DH and BM" family type scenario.
Your DH better not do this.
Your DH better not do this. Parents who are no longer together should not be playing family like you said. I would have thought the same exact thing you did. If they both want to be a part of the first day of school, one can pick up and one can drop off like another poster said. There is no reason they both need to take her together.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^YES^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^YES^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^