Well as I predicted the dreaded ex's name was mentioned during the dinner feast. And yes the turkey survived my wrath(thank you for pointing out my anger and irrationality stickaforkinme, you were right I need to get control of it). The first time it was mentioned I ignored it. A few minutes pass and it's mentioned again. To which I promptly state, " could we not talk shout her". An awkward 8 second silence passes in which everyone looks at me like I have lobsters crawling out of my ears until I look st my dh and ask "please pass the greenbean casserole". And conversation resumes.
Later that evening I overhear my dh on the phone with his mother pouring out his heart over how sh* Ttyl their treatment of me has been and how he expects change from them or they can forget about ever seeing him again. And he told her to take down the ex's pictures in their house. I'm not sure it will help but it made me feel hope. At least my dh did not stick his head in the sand. He finally prioritzed my feelings and stood up for me. So that is what I was thankful for this thanksgiving.