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Lesson learned...

princessmofo's picture

Dealing with dh's family is like hitting your head against a wall and expecting a different result each time. It's painful, no matter what. So, that being said I have FINALLY learned my lesson.

Backstory: Dh and I were invited to his cousins wedding last weekend. This cousin is one dh likes and gets along with. His mother (MIL's sister, dh's aunt) however, is not allowed in our home, nor does dh have anything to do with her. The reason? She is still enmeshed with twat waffle as is MIL, and has a history of telling our personal life to cuntcakes at every opportunity. These people (dh, cousin, Aunt, and twat waffle) all work together at the same place. (They are literally one family member shy of a Greek tragedy)

My fear all along at accepting this invitation was that swampcunt would attend. Dh figured that 1) she wouldn't be invited and 2) it was her weekend with ss so she wouldn't have a sitter. But we chanced it and decided to attend. Big mistake.

When we arrived I immediately spotted Satan's car in the parking lot and pointed it out to dh. Then, as if devilcunt could feel our presence, she appeared out of the peripheral in a hazy cloud of sulfur and despair. Dh parked the car and I froze. I explained to him very quietly and calmly, I might add, that I had no intentions of getting out of the car. It was going to be awkward enough to be around his family, who vilify me for no good reason, but now with the presence of the cloven hoofed one it would be absolutely unbearable. And as if on cue, we could see her slither up to MIL, and embrace her with ss in tow in the front of the venue. :sick:

We sat in the car for what seemed like an eternity, listening to the radio in silence. After a bit dh got out with the gift and said, "Sit tight. I'll be right back." And he was. He delivered the gift to the bride and groom, shook their hands, and left. When he got back in the car he declared, "I'm sick and fucking tired of people making MY wife feel uncomfortable. And I refuse to put you in that situation. If people, after eight fucking years, have a problem with me moving on they can fuck off. If somebody has a problem with OUR marriage, that's THEIR problem, not ours." Then he proceeded to drive me to a fancy dinner, where we had a very nice time.

My mother feels like dh and I were "set-up" on purpose. Whether or not that's the case, it's irrelevant at this point. I/We should have known better than to attend. These people do not deserve any consideration on our part. They have repeatedly shown their true colors to dh and I. They are not family. They are people that dh is related to by blood. That's it. They made their choice, and it's twat waffle not dh, so be it. I refuse to play a game when there is no way to win.

I'm grateful that dh didn't try to prod me into going in. Years ago he would've and it would've been miserable for me to say the least. I guess he's seen the light as well. So we've learned our lesson... We are done.

Comments

princessmofo's picture

You said it, Mairenn! We've been married five years now! Seriously, when will these people get over it?! They need to get a freaking life and get out of ours.

princessmofo's picture

LMAO! This has literally taken years and years to get him to this point though. And lots of hurt feelings on my part and his. It has not been an easy road.

momandmore's picture

Good for your DH! We have a similar situation and DH put his foot down. We don't go over there anymore and they weren't coming here for a while and then recently just started showing up at our house.

The last time was Sunday and DH mainly talked to his brother. Neither one of us wished MIL a HMD. She has done nothing but crap on him.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

GOOD FOR your hubby!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stepped in what momma's picture

High five to the DH, what a good man to protect you from evil people. Glad you guys saved the night by going to a nice dinner.

Jsmom's picture

Good for him...My DH has finally gotten it as well. It has taken awhile. After his last trip to see his parents that was enough for him. You do not need these people anymore than I need in-laws who think I am evil and my SD is misunderstood....

He sounds like a good guy...

Willow2010's picture

I'm sick and fucking tired of people making MY wife feel uncomfortable. And I refuse to put you in that situation. If people, after eight fucking years, have a problem with me moving on they can fuck off.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
While I would like to say "good job DH" he still gets on my last efing nerve! He makes you uncomfortable everyday when he slinks off to work with the ex idiot. And when he was offered a much better job and still refused to leave that place with BM. He knows how you feel about it. How can he actually say that above with a straight face?

UGH..Sorry Princess, your situation has just always stuck in my mind and makes me crazy sometimes because he can't see that HE is doing the same thing to you that his family does.

princessmofo's picture

Your point is very valid, Willow. I think dh has realized he is "a man without a country" at this point. He can't go back. So he has no choice but move forward. I guess progress is progress. But you are exactly right. 99% of these problems could be solved if he would cut the rope and leave his work situation.