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JayRay's blog got me thinking... If you could design a school for StepTalkers what would it look like?

princessmofo's picture

JayRay's blog about the narcissism and Post Traumatic Breadstick Disorder got me chuckling. I was thinking of a school or learning center to help embattled stepmoms, Disney dads, and bpd bms. Here's a sampling:

Do your stepkids suffer from PTBD (Post Traumatic Breadstick Disorder)? Is your husband unable to locate his testicles when communicating with his ex? Do you deal with a deluded, high-conflict biomom who causes confusion and delay everywhere she goes? You're not alone. There is help...

Here at the 'PrincessMofo School of Suck it Up and Rub Some Dirt in It' we specialize in teaching whiny asshats how shut the f*ck up and move on.

Our group therapy program, which is dh centric, helps Disney dads learn to locate their ballsack and remove their heads from their asses when dealing with skids and bms.

Our language learning center focuses on the four main components of communication with a hostile bm. These components include: silencing a twat waffle, when to ignore the whore, psycho bitch with a personality disorder, and if only someone would drop a house on that cunt.

We offer rigorous, real-world training to help you deal with such common occurrences as: nasty-ass can't wipe butt properly, improper disposal of sanitary napkins, skids who f*ck up your newly remodeled d├ęcor with haircolor, skid hoarding of food, lice infestation, ick you smell like cat pee, "you hate my kids" by a dh, but I'm too good to do chores, dadddddy hold my hand (I'm 16), my mom doesn't do it like that, and I get two Christmas', birthdays, Arbor Day, etc... And I'm a child of divorce you will worship me, peon.

With proper training and heavy amounts of alcohol, here at the PrincessMofo School, we work on teaching you the coping skills to learn to disengage and no longer give a rat's ass. With our intense "lifetime" learning sessions you will develop the resilience you require to navigate the serpentine and twisted road of stephell.

Ok, StepTalkers please feel free to add to the curriculum. }:) Blum 3 Smile

Comments

justanothergurlNJ's picture

IS there a course available on how to get rid of the ever loving fucking Facetime and BM's demand that we allow skids access to OUR wifi that WE pay for.

princessmofo's picture

In addition to our practical "emotion" based courses we offer IT classes for navigating the pitfalls of social media in step-parenting. Our curriculum includes: May your real life be as awesome as you pretend to be on FaceBook blocking, you may have the wifi password when this list of chores is completed, and No, you don't get a new Xbox when you are failing three classes.

B22S22's picture

I'm hoping it's set up like an all inclusive resort.... one fee, and it's all you can drink all week.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Include sessions like:
*Seemingly Sweet Comments That Cut Like A Knife
*How To Secretly Sabotage Your Skid Without Really Trying
*Tactical Skid Removal - Ways to unobtrusively minimize/remove skid presence from your home

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Would it be tuition-free? You know, since so many of us have all our money going to BM's Beauty and Travel Fund....

princessmofo's picture

Done! Smile

Aniki-Moderator's picture

We need snacks!! I love to cook and specialize in "miniatures" or cute individual servings. Dirol

misSTEP's picture

You will need an accounting wing as well.

How to survive when most of your spouses income goes to a psycho
When and how to split finances
Ways to decrease attorney fees
How to spot a user, in your home or out
Teaching the value of a dollar
Navigating the family court minefield
What to do when your spouse doesn't pull their weight
AND
Divorce 101, 102, 103, 201, 202, 203

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Dtzy, we had something "break" that DH swears happened because PrincASS15 stepped on it with his size 14 boats...

princessmofo's picture

Can she do a Marauder's Map like in Harry Potter? Only Step Moms can use it. "I do solemnly swear I am the evilest step mom of all."

Stepped in what momma's picture

The school should be located in Colorado.... you know for medicinal purposes, every one needs to get rid of the pain in their ass. Blum 3